March 2006 Submissions

Dedication: To Gillian- my only best friend who actually kept my secrets.

I guess it all began at the p7 welcome party- we were the ones welcoming them though. I was twelve and I guess quite mature compared to the stereotypical twelve year old. Had stopped growing (at the alarming height of 5,2), my metabolism had successfully broken up and I had tits to challenge Jordon. But of course, being a curvy short twelve year old isn't necessarily a good thing. Not with the media being the way it is.

So anyway, I was well known by everyone in the school for being 'that wee slag that got aff wae Jordon Riddle'. Which wasn't a good thing... so like any sane person I was determined to clear my name. This of course meant I had to nip someone a lot more good looking than 'Riddle'.

Which brings us back to the p7 and S1 dance. If you had hovered over our hall you would have seen that everyone split off into large circles of friends and you would have seen me bobbing back and forth between them as- I'm not saying I was popular- I had a lot of friends.

Anyway, my friend Emma had recently started going out with this boy called Ross. And trust me I gave them hell, and if you had seen them (and you are a 'friendly bitch') you would have too. The word I would use to describe that couple best would be... incesty. Not that they were related- and not that that is a real word- but both of them had blonde curly hair, blue eyes and they had similar facial features. But I had nagged them to nip each other for.... weeks and I was getting very impatient.

So I was kinda delighted that when I got down from the karaoke, singing Like a virgin with Nicola and Caitlin for all those interested (we wanted to piss off the teachers), I found out something interesting.

â€œEmma,â€ I had said to her teasingly. â€œHow are you and Ross, you have barely said two consecutive words to each other tonight.â€

Emma was quick to defend. â€œActually, I just danced with him.â€ she said sounding pure pleased with herself.

â€œYeah but have you nipped him yet?â€ I asked determined to find something to tease her about.

What she said next surprised me. â€œWhat? Oh yeah, just there.â€ she said pointing behind her.

At that moment a wave of horror swept over me. I was no longer the only non VL in our regi class. In my head all hell had broken loose. But on the surface I was acting all squealey and teengagery.. and in my opinion really annoying... probably everyone elses opinion too.

So I became even more determined to wipe myself of the after math of Riddle. So I looked and looked... it was really sad. But luckily all my other friends stayed normal.

But about a week and a few days later I hit gold. I was at a youth club in the basement of a baptist church. The youth club had been fondly nicknamed the Crypt. I went there every Friday from when I was 11 to when I was 15. I went to far more exiting places during the week but the Crypt was always the place to be on a Friday night. (Unless someone was having a party of course.) we used to get pissed off at all the Christian volunteers who continuously tried to shove their religion down our throats... they never did succeed.

It was here I met Chris. He was relatively good looking, had auburn hair, was 16 and was around six feet tall.

He was perfectly aware of my age and we spent the whole night talking and playing air hockey- which my friend Kirsty later pointed out was just so he could look down my top- we had a really good time. And just as the club was closing we nipped.... a lot. Then- as he believed it was a sin to snog in a church- we went outside and continued snogging. (I'm being blunt aren't I?â€)

And trust me everyone saw us, my older sisters fourth year friends, my friends that I knew were complete bitches... trust me everyone... oopsadasie.

I went home after being lectured by my- quite neddy- friend Jackie about getting off with guys that are four years older and is technically illegal to do (but who pays any attention to those laws). The first thing I did was go on msn and talk to my best friend Gillian. I told her what had happened, knowing that she would keep it secret and then convinced Lily not tell anyone and convinced her to convince Holly Payne and Adrien (who lived in the same close as her) not to go around blabbing... no that was Kirsty and Jackie's job. I knew they would spread it round the complete blabbers that I had got off with a guy who had left school and threatened to kick in the racist techie teachers head. (We went to an international school racisim was seen as bad as murder.)

So when I ran into Susan, Emma and Fiona going to school 2 out of three of the blondes knew about me getting off with Chris. Kirsty had told Emma and Jackie had told Fiona. My accidental yelling told Susan who I was not on good terms with.

Next I told the girls who I was friends with in my regi class. Gillian and her twin Sarah, Susan, Emma, Fiza and Myriam. The ones who didn't already know swore to secrecy.

But 'unfortunately' the word had gotten out through the curse that was Kirsty's ability to speak words. But a miracle happened... the boys in my regi class didn't find out until three days later. The funniest thing in my opinion was that the girls in my sisters year clearly had no life as they all discussed Jennifer's older boyfriend. But the most amazing thing of all was that no-one in my family ever found out about me and Chris.. and we lasted quite long. I guess it was quite lucky that my sister went on an exchange to Cyprus around the time it was the topic of the school.

But the main thing in the story is this brilliant outcome... I was wiped clean of Riddle.

My end notes

Nipping means snogging or 'french kissing' in Glasgow slang.

Any other confused questions or probably flames email me them.

Till then see ya

lots of love

Jennifer-Annie