July 2006 Submissions


 

Monthly Submissions


I Wanna Talk about Me

Yeah Yeah
That's right
We talk about our work
How our boss is a jerk
We talk about your car                                                                                                                                            
And your back when it hurts
We talk about the trouble's you been having with your undercover lover
about our daddy and  grandmother
and your crazy on again off again lover
We talk about your friends
and the places that you've been
We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin
The fungus on your toes and the jimmy in your knees
And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes
You know talking about you makes me smile
but every once in a while

Chorus:
I wanna talk about me
wanna talk about tattoos
wanna talk about number one
oh my me my
what I think
what I like
what I know
what I want
what I see
I like talking about u u u  usually
but occasionally I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me

We talk about your dreams
and we talk about your schemes
your high school team and your hair wetter cream
We talk about your technique that you learned up in Munci, Indiania
We talk about your first experience of going down in Alabama
We talk about  guys of every shape and size
the ones that you despise and the ones you idealize
We talk about your heart  about your brain and your smarts
and your medical charts
and when you start
You know talking about you makes me grin (NOT)
but every now and then


I wanna talk about my tattoos
I wanna talk about my piercings
I wanna talk about my hair color
I wanna talk about me and not
you you you you you you you you you you you you you
I wanna talk about me


I wanna talk about Lita and her lack of fashion scene
I wanna talk about my dream to work along side with the Crocodile Hunter
I wanna talk about what possess you to wear a toe boggle indoors but more importantly
I wanna talk about me
 
 
 
 
The Matt & Jeff Hardy
tune of Two Pina Coladas)
  
We were feelin the blues
After hearing the news
When J.R. came on the TV
He said I’m tellin ya
That the Hardyz has proven
That they are healed by the sea
That got us goin
Without even knowin
We packed right up and drove down
Now we’re on a roll
& We swear to our soul
Tonight we’re going to paint this town
 
So bring us Matt & Jeff Hardy
We need arm bands for each hand
Let’s set sail with Edge and Christian
& Never leave dry land
Hey the Dudleys we forget them
We buried ‘em in the sand
So bring us Matt and Jeff Hardy
We’ve said good bye to our slow moving men
 
Oh now, we’ve gotta say that the wind and the waves
And the moon winkin down at me
Eases their mind
By leavin behind
The pain that tables and ladders often bring
Now they’ve got a smile that goes on for miles
With no inclination to roam
We gotta say
That they think they’re gonna stay
‘Cause this is feelin more & more
Like home
 
So bring us Matt & Jeff Hardy
We need arm bands for each hand
Let’s set sail with Edge and Christian
& Never leave dry land
Hey the Lita and Terri we forget them
We buried ‘em in the sand
So bring us Matt and Jeff Hardy
We’ve said good bye to our slow moving men
 
Sold
Revised By Genta
I went down to the Greensboro Coliseum
Where I saw something I just had to have
Renee told me I should proceed with caution
But my heart said go ahead and make a hit on that
 
And I said Hey Jeff Hardy, won’t you give me a sign
I’ve give anything to make you mine all mines
I’ll do your dying and be at your beck and call
Man, I’ve never seen a wrestler looking so fine
Man I got to have him, he’s a one of a kind I’m going once
I am going twice….
I am sold to man on the second rope …
He is an eight, he’s a nine, he’s Omega I know
He’s got ruby red lips, skittled hair, and green eyes
I’m about to kiss my heart good bye
 
Well Lillian was going about a mile a minute
She was making announcements and
calling wrestlers out before the crowd
I guess I was really getting in
because I just shouted out above the crowd
 
And I said Hey Jeff Hardy, won’t you give me a sign
I’ve give anything to make you mine all mines
I’ll do your dying and be at your beck and call
Man, I’ve never seen a wrestler looking so fine
Man I got to have him, he’s a one of a kind I’m going once
I am going twice….
I am sold to man with the baggy black pant
He won my heart it was not contest
With his ruby red lips, skittled hair, green eyes
I’m about to kiss my heart good bye
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sugah Shack
(Formally known as the Love Shack)
 
If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the... Sugah Shack! Sugah Shack yeah
I'm headin' down the Raleigh highway, lookin' for the Sugah getaway
Heading for the Sugah getaway, Sugah getaway,
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and we're headin' on down
To the Sugah Shack
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
 
The Sugah Shack is a little old place where we can get together
Sugah Shack baby, Sugah Shack bay-bee.
Sugah baby, that's where it's at, Ooo Sugah baby, that's where it's at
 
Sign says.. Woo... stay away fools, 'cause Sugah rules at the Sugah Shack!
Well it's set way back in the middle of a field,
Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back
 
Sugah on the mattress
Sugah on the highway
Sugah on the front porch
Sugah on the hallway
 
The Sugah Shack is a little old place where we can get together
Sugah Shack baby! Sugah Shack, that's where it's at!
Pimpin' and a dissin', mackin' and a laughin', wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies! The whole shack shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around!
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Folks linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby
Funky little shack! Funky little shack!
 
Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money.
 
Bang bang bang on the door baby! Knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby! I can't hear you
Your what?... Tin roof, rusted!
 
Sugah Shack, baby Sugah Shack!
Sugah baby, that's where it's at
Pimpin' and a dissin', mackin' and a laughin' at the love shack
 

 

Weekly Submissions


July 31, 2006

 

Interlude: Until Next Time: A Plate of Sunshine

 

“I thought at first that having you around was going to be a trial,” he smiled at his brunette beauty.  “And then I met you and knew you were going to be trouble from the get-go.”  His smile widened.  “I was right on that one.”

 

Ali stuck her tongue out at Blake, and grinned.  “That’s a no-brainer, Cowboy.”

 

“Maybe.”  He shook his head and looked back into her blue eyes.  “But, it’s been worth it.  I’m thankful to have met you.  I wish you didn’t have to leave me.”

 

There was a knock on the door followed by a muffled, “Hurry the hell up, would ya?”

 

Ali laughed at Flint’s impatience.  “I don’t know if it’s just jealousy or if he really is that eager to get going!”

 

“I’d vote for the jealousy.  He knows you’re mine now.”  He ran his hand down the side of her face.  “Or, at least I hope you are.”

 

Ali leaned in and kissed his cheek.  “I can be anything you want me to be… or need me to be.  All you have to do is ask.”

 

Letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was even holding, Blake drew her into his arms and held her close.  Her head fit perfectly beneath his chin, just one more sign they were meant for each other.  At 6’ 5”, he hadn’t met too many girls that he could hold like this and it felt so good to be able to do it now.  He didn’t want to let go, ever.

 

The pounding at the door came again.

 

“I think that’s my two-minute warning, Cowboy.”

 

He flashed her that goofy grin, the one that won her over the first day they met.  “Well, then I guess we’d better make the best of those two minutes, don’t you?”

 

In reply, she lifted her head and pressed her lips against his.  He pulled her even closer than before and returned the kiss, happily.  They stayed together, holding on, until Flint’s impatience led him to kick the door finally.

 

“Could you give a girl a freakin’ minute to say good-bye you stupid leatherneck?” she screamed at the closed door.  “Jeeze Louise, I swear I’m gonna smack you in about two seconds!”

 

Blake lost the fight to keep a straight face.  Laughing, he pulled her back to him for one last kiss.  “You’re just a little plate of sunshine, aren’t you?”

 

“What can I say?  I try.”  Blowing him a kiss, she left the hotel room, leaving him alone and with the promise of a time to come.  Soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning Coffee

Sitting on the porch,
cup of coffee in hand.
The sun is out and a cool breeze is moving the air.
Trees in rhythmic motion as the
wind shuffles through the branches.
Squirrels scampering for food.
As I sip my coffee
I see birds searching for food with their little ones.
Little critters scurrying back and forth.
Don't know what they are after.
Suddenly clouds emerge and thunder starts.
Lightening streaks across the sky,
which has become very dark.
This is tornado weather.
You can smell it in the air.
Better seek shelter.
Darn!&%$@

Joter 7-31-2006

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Wounds

Anger boils from the
Core of my being
Ready to erupt
Like a pregnant volcano;

Hurt scorches my preverbal wounded heart
Which beats fast, hard, uncontrollable.
It too feels like a rupture
Imploding from the pressure of deceit.

Looking in my bathroom mirror
I see a worn, troubled woman;
A mother growing old, alone.
Questions burn at the tip of my tongue.

The calendar reminds me that
She would have been eight-five today.
It seems that grief thrives in my
Sagging spirits along with my flaccid skin.

Weeping would be wasted just as the
Anger which grips at the very essence of me.
Answers will not come; pain will never stop
Until I forgive, forget, moving forward; never to look back.

© Margaret C. Rigsby
7/30/06

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There he sat, a cute little boy at the tender age of eight years old. He sat quietly, waiting as his adopted mother bought bus tickets from the ticket agent at the Greyhound Bus Station. But the little boy was not watching his new Mom, his eyes were on a beautiful rose which sat all by itself in a container at then end of the row of seats. It was such a pretty rose, a beautiful shade of dark pink fading into a lighter shade of pink. The little boy could not understand why there was a rose in a bus station, it was curious he thought. As he watched the rose it seemed to call to him, he could feel a light tug, as if he were connected to the rose somehow. The rose was all alone, which was how he felt sometimes. Even though he had a brand new family he still felt alone at times. Maybe that's why he felt connected to the rose, he pondered this for a while. The little boy was very bright for his age and could usually reason anything out yet he felt confused about this rose and why it had such a strong affect on him.
Then his new Mom was standing next to him, telling him it was time to go. As they headed toward the door to get on their bus he took one last look at the rose and could swear it nodded at him as if to tell him everything would be okay from now on. Suddenly the little boy felt a surge of happiness that he had not felt in a very long time and he impulsively hugged his new Mom. She looked at him with tears and hugged him back.
Kathleen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE DREAM
 
Jerry was a simple farmer from Indiana.  He was married to Joyce and they had 3 children. Jimmy was 11, James was 9 and Jessica was 7.
 
Joyce knew that Jerry wasn't happy farming he wanted to be in a race car
Out on a track speeding along.  But the farm belonged to her family and Jerry's dream of becoming a driver had taken a back seat.  I mean with 3 kids he couldn't just go and play race car driver now could he?
 
Jerry managed to keep his dream alive by playing little games with the kids and Joyce loved to sit and watch them while she made her daily bread.  The smells that filled the house while she was baking seemed to put everyone is a happy mood so Joyce thought that it was the perfect time to make an announcement.
 
Joyce called to Jerry and the kids and asked them to come into the front room. They all did as asked.  Joyce shuffled around a bit but Jerry could see that she had an envelope  in her hands.  He said Ok woman spit it out already!
 
Joyce cleared her throat and started to speak when instead she made a funny squeaking noise!  They all got a big laugh out of that.  Finally Joyce started by saying...
 
Jerry you know that WE love you and we know that you love us, but you have a dream and I can't live another day unless you get that dream.  So I entered you into a contest and well you won!
 
He looked at her as if asking what did I won?  Joyce answered him by handing him the envelope.  Jerry opened it and read it silently and with tears in his eyes he looked up and said you have got to be kidding me?
 
The kids were all jumping and screaming by this point, "What is it Dad?"
 
Jerry told them I am going to go to a Race Track and spend a week with Jeff Gordon and it said be prepared to drive!  Jerry stood up and along with the kids were all jumping for joy.
 
Joyce them calmed them down and said Ok we've got a few things to do to get Daddy ready to go.  Jessica will you please run and get me a needle I have to darn some of your fathers socks or he's going to go all HOLY!  Jessica shook her head no and ran off.
 
Joyce got all of Jerry's things ready and at the end of the week he was off to Florida.  Of course they would miss him and they would all have to pitch in to do Dad's chores but it was worth it.
 
Jerry arrived at the hotel and the Bellboy took his bags.  After checking into a room that was surely a mistake Jerry got a call telling him to be ready a car would pick him up in an hour. 
 
The car arrived and off to the race track they went.  First he met Jeff Gordon and then he spent some time learning all about what the pit crew does.  Then it was track time, he got to ride with Jeff and that was heaven. 
 
On the last day of his stay Jeff came up to Jerry and asked him you ready? Ready for what Jerry asked? To drive what else?  You know I am said Jerry!
 
Jerry got in the car and for the next hour or so he rode that track from fast to slow and back again.  His smile never left his face.  At the end of the day he was presented with a tape.  They had been taping his whole stay without him knowing about it.
 
Now Jerry could re-live his dream anytime that he wanted to!
 
The End
 
By Karen Morris

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Headlights In the Rain



I was so tired.  I wanted to be home, warm, safe, in my bed, but I wasn't.  My mother and my brothers and sisters and I were walking home from the movies.  It was dark and late.  We had stayed all afternoon.  We watched both movies and the cartoons over and over again.  My mother gave us money to get food at the snack bar when we complained we were hungry.

We wanted to go home but my mother said it wasn't time yet.  So we stayed longer.  Finally all the movies were over and everyone had left.  We were the only ones there and the man came and said we had to leave.  So we did. 

When we walked outside, it was dark and cold and raining.  My little sister complained that she didn't want to walk.  She cried and told my mother to call our father to come get us.  My mother said no.  She said our father should be asleep now and we couldn't wake him up.  So we started to walk.

This wasn't the first time.  It happened all the time.  When my father didn't have to work on the weekends, he would drink beer.  A lot of beer.  Then he would fight with us and with our mother. My mother always let him say things to her and even hit her but when he started to hit us, she would get mad at him.  She would find a way to send us outside or in the other room where he couldn't hit us.  Then she would come and tell us to get our shoes on and our clothes ready because we were going for a walk.  We had to be quiet.

And that is what happened today.  He drank his beers.  He yelled at my mother.  He hit her.  Then he started yelling at us.  When he got up to hit David, my mother distracted my father and motioned for David to leave the room.  Then we got our jackets and quietly waited for her.  It didn't take long.  We went to the movies, walking quickly and looking back to make sure he wasn't following us.  Then we watched the movies and waited.

Now we are walking home, in the rain and I know we are all hoping he will be asleep when we get there, or the fighting will start again and we can't leave at night time, in the rain, because all there is out there are headlights in the rain.

~Corina Carrasco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Immune to it
By Karen Morris
 
This is hard and I'm doing my best.
You don't understand what I've been through.
But you just keep pushing me without rest.
You don't know me, you don't have a clue!
 
Maybe that's your idea, you want to break me down!
I'm not going to let you do that anymore, not one bit!
You yell, put down, belittle and just go to town.
Well you know what?
I'm Immune to it!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Headlights in the Rain
by Margaret C. Rigsby

Rain splashed up from the freeway
as torrents fell downward in darkness;
blinded by the spray
darkness loomed menacing.

Visibility was as far as the
wipers working overtime,
barely audible in the downpour.
Invincible drivers passed by speeding.

No place to pull over without
disastrous consequences,
with sight and hearing
abated by the hammering downpour.

Inwardly thoughts of the empty house
posed distress upon danger.
The mind drifts when the only focus
is staying between the white lines.

Thinking sheared automatically
switching to those thoughts which flash unexpectedly
quickly like animation in minds eye, life- the good, bad and ugly;
fate sealed by on-coming headlights in the rain.

7/23/06

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
Reflection
 
I look in a mirror, and I see
a reflection of the real me...
 
the girl who thought of suicide
the girl who was always on the outside.
The girl who didn't wear Guess jeans,
the girl who didn't get invited to the scenes.
the girl who was made a joke,
the girl they broke.
 
the deeper I look, the deeper I see
and can't believe that girl was me.
 
I look in a mirror and I see
a reflection of the new me.
 
a woman who's grown so jaded
the years of innocence and naivety all faded.
a woman who looks upon things with scorn,
all the while feeling torn.
Between trying to be the girl she was, and the woman she became..
she only has herself to blame.
A happy medium is all she seeks,
this reflection of herself so loudly speaks.
Of the past - of the present - and of the dreams of the future..
the wounds she tried so hard to suture,
come apart in this mirror so true,
she reflects back to it all and knows she'll make it through.
 
I look in the mirror and I see,
the person I want to be...
 
Stephanie Franklin
7-7-06

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Prison
 
I wait for you.
This metallic taste
lies heavy on my tongue
like copper, like pennies
placed on a dead mans eyes
or the coins that pay
for a boat ride to that
particular horizon, the afterlife.
And thoughts lie heavy
in my mind, this solitude
does nothing to unbind or unwind
the inner ropes and chains
tying my heart to you.
You are my prison. My night.
I open my eyes, and pretend sight.
 
 
Lotus Dreamer  © JA
July 2006

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the way to Grandmother‘s house

by Margaret C. Rigsby

I remember sitting in a bus station in our home town. Father had dropped us off after getting the information on the arrival and departure time of the bus. I must have been about eight. Mother sat beside me on the wooden bench, strangers all around us. We were all waiting for a bus but not the same one.

Sometimes someone would get up and leave but Mother and I were still waiting for the bus that would take us to Grandmother’s house.

Mother explained that the bus had been delayed so we would have to wait a little longer. I remember that we were going to visit Grandmother in a neighboring town. In those days cars were a luxury not a necessity. That would not have mattered anyway as Mother had never learned to drive; Father made sure of that!

“Only men should drive, Olivia! Don’t I take care of you and John? Don’t I bring home the bacon and provide for my family? Why on earth would you need to drive?” I can still remember Father’s shocked and almost shrill reply to Mother’s question.

“Yes, honey, you take care of us. I just thought that if I learned to drive, I could take Johnny shopping by myself and even get the groceries on the way home.” she countered.

“Well, it is out of the question.” he had retorted. When Father had made a decision, that was the end of the matter.

I was anxious to see Grandmother as she seldom made the trip to our house since Grandfather had passed away. I can still see her kind and loving face that always lit up when she saw me. It seems years do not take away the best memories.

Mother pulled some money from her handbag. I watched closely because Mother almost never had money in her handbag.

“Johnny, I noticed there was a gift shop as we came in. How would you like to see what all is in there? We still have time before our bus gets here.” my young eyes lit up. I was so tired of sitting.

“Can we, Mother?” I asked in excitement.

“You bet!” she smiled down at me and ruffled my brown hair with her hand. She did that a lot. Most of the time I would have protested, even though in fact I enjoyed the attention, I just smiled up at her face.

She had the most beautiful face with her blue eyes and delicate fair skin. I thought she was even more beautiful when I watched her brush her hair and it fell softly to her shoulders.

As we walked a small distance to the gift shop I saw our reflection in the glass . I thought that she was so stunning that I felt like an ugly duckling beside her with my dark brown hair and eyes. Even my skin was shades darker than hers.

As we walked hand in hand around the gift shop I saw many things that a boy of eight would want to buy for himself. I wanted to ask Mother for several things until I saw the flowers. I walked over to the glassed refrigerated display putting my hand on the glass so I could feel the coolness.

It was hot in the bus station even with the large fans running above us. I was amazed at how many fans were attached to the ceiling and yet it felt like they only served to blow hot air around.

“Mother?” I queried looking up at her.

“Yes, Johnny?” she had looked at me with both a loving and sadness that I could see in her face. I was a little confused. The sad look was not a look that Mother had ever directly showed me but it seemed to radiate from her countenance.

I dismissed it for the time being and asked: “Mother, what is Grandmother’s favorite color of flower?”

She smiled at me. “I think your Grandmother loves yellow roses, son.”

“Do you think we could buy her one and surprise her when we get there?”

“I don’t see why not!” she exclaimed almost joyously. “Is there anything else you want to buy, Johnny?”

I had to restrain myself from asking for the things I wanted but I knew that Father was tight about Mother spending money so I just said no.

“You pick the one you want to give Grandmother.” she instructed me.

There were so many and they were all so pretty. “Which one is the rose flower, Mother?”

She pointed the roses out to me. I pondered the selection until I saw the yellow one that was prettier than any of the others. It was barely open but I could see the beauty of the yellow bloom with white around the edges.

I pointed to it, “That one.”

Mother smiled, showing her white teeth which was another thing I admired about Mother. Her smile was beautiful, I would have liked to see her smile more often.

“That one it is!” she seemed as happy as I was with the selection.

Mother went over to the gentleman standing at the cash register and talked to him for a few minutes. I waited by the door watching as people strolled by the shop on their way to other places.

Mother came back with the beautiful yellow rose but it was all wrapped up and their was tin foil around the base of it.

“Why is Grandmother’s flower, I mean rose, all wrapped up like that, Mother” I was puzzled because it didn’t seem nearly as pretty that way.

“Well, darling, the nice man fixed the rose so that it would not wilt and would still be pretty when we gave it to Grandmother.” she flashed a half smile at me but I could still see the sadness in her eyes.

She took my hand and we walked back to the same bench and sat down to wait on our bus.

Mother told me to close my eyes and open my hands which I did without question. I felt something placed in my hands. I remember the excitement of the anticipation.

“Okay, open your eyes.” she told me.

When I opened my eyes there was a brown bag in my hands. I peered into the bag to discover that Mother had bought me a penny’s worth of jelly beans.

I sat the bag on the bench and hugged her neck tightly, “Thank you Mother!”

As she smiled at me she told me to go ahead and have some that she had something to talk to be about before the bus arrived.

I picked out some of the black jelly beans and enjoyed the flavor as I waited for Mother to tell me whatever she had to tell me.

She started out slow as if she were choosing her words carefully but I could see the sadness in her blue eyes. I don’t think I have ever enjoyed jelly beans or yellow roses as much since Mother told me what she had to tell me on that hot summer day.

“Johnny, I think you are old enough to know some things that you might not fully understand. Father does not agree with me, but I don’t always agree with Father either.” She worked up a timid smile.

“What is it, Mother?” I asked with my blackened-jelly-bean mouth.

Again, the sad look. “Johnny, when you were a little baby…the prettiest little boy baby I ever saw!” I smiled.

“Father and I picked you out.”

“Picked me out of what?” I looked suspiciously at her.

Mother looked as though she did not quite know how to speak. “Well, Johnny, your father and I could not have babies of our own. You know what babies are, like the cat when she had her kittens?”

I nodded my head to indicate yes.

“Well, of course you were much more special than kittens or puppies but we went to a place where they had three or four babies that the mother’s could not take care of…we picked you out as our special little boy.” There were tears welling up in her eyes but a smile on her face.

I stopped eating the jelly beans. “Did the mother’s die?” I asked.

Thoughtfully she answered, “I suppose some of them might have died.”

“Does that mean that you are not my Mother?” I was very confused by this time. All I could think about was how we gave the unwanted kittens away.

“No, sweetheart,” she brushed my hair with her hand. “I will always be your mother and I don’t want you to ever forget that. I just thought it was time to tell you how special you are!”

“As special as the kittens Cory had?” I wanted to know what she would say to that.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she turned her head away from my eyes for a moment. “No, Johnny. You are more special than Cory’s kittens because you are a little boy and the woman who gave birth to you wanted you to have a special home. That is how we got you. I didn't have you like Cory had her kittens but another sweet woman did and she said we could take you home and take good care of you…forever.”

I wrenched my face, “Will she want me back?”

Mother sighed. “She can’t have you back, Johnny because you belong with me and your father now. You always have.” she paused a moment and added: “There may be a day when you want to get to know her and that is why I am telling you this today. Maybe when you are older then you can decide. I mean if she is still alive, like Cory.”

I threw my sticky jelly-bean hands around her neck and hugged her hard. “I love you Mother!”

“I love you too, sweetheart, forever and ever!” she hugged me firmly back.

I picked up the brown sack and picked out some green jelly beans. I offered Mother some but she declined.

They tasted sweet and good but I didn't want any of the black ones anymore.

A man over a speaker announced that bus 33 had arrived and Mother said that it was time to go to Grandmother’s now.

I picked up the cool rose with one hand and handed the bag to Mother. We walked a short distance and stepped onto the bus that would carry us to Grandmother’s house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm immune to it

with all the jeers
name calling
teasing about my family
I really don't know what
is meant by all this
don't people know that
you don't pick your
home
so what if they are different
don't you think they are
intelligent
well they are
my daddy could make
any electronic thing
work
and build them too
mama was very loving
funny
good sense of humor
couldn't cook
kept a very clean
house
I guess it was because
they were both
deaf mutes

Joter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*_Nothing to feel _*

/All emotions gone,/

/Left standing naked and alone/

/The pain on my back no match for the pain in my heart./

/Both will scar, from being ripped apart./

/One by your chain, stinging and sharp/

/The other by your words, your careless thoughts./

/Now your gone, your attentions turn away./

/Stalking the prey for another day./

/I’m left in this room, bleeding and cold/

/Nothing to feel, a broken soul./

Lupa Dedanna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Headlights in the Rain"

Headlights in the rain
through the tears,
as my eyes strain,
my head explodes with pain
Headlights in the rain

The raging storm blows on
as the radio plays a sad song
about a love so strong
that now has turn out wrong
The raging storm blows on

The Sun again, will shine,
on this broken heart of mine
and on that day i'll find
a love, that is divine
The Sun again, will shine,

Headlights in the rain
i will overcome the pain
wipe away the stain
as i start again
Headlights in the rain

spark

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One brilliant, sunny morning,
light dancing off the snow...
the knock came on the cabin door
the soldier's, call to go...

The messenger came to say...
the word, traveled through the night
on horseback, through the woods...
the time had come to fight

A country, in it's infant stage
seeking harmony, in this land
would have to earn their freedom,
bloodshed, by their hands..

The gravity of the news
weighed on the solider as he marched,
with his companions throughout the day,
and as they gathered in the dark..

As darkness settle across the land
the Patriot could see...
the thousand fires lit,
by his pompous enemy

His commander aroused his courage,
He would stand and fight...
for MY freedom and my sons
The Patriot gave his life.

Spark

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Immune to It"

This is not a poem..
of what you might assume...
some-one whose lost all feeling...
whom, apathy may consume

No, this is instead...a declaration..
of my refusal to become...
a blinded sheep, amongst the flock...
never "sensing" anyone...

To be proud, to say my hands,
applied the thoughts within my head
To sleep without regrets...
not hungry, in my dry bed..

I know my hands alone,
can't change the horrors on this earth
but, perhaps, one child's smile..
might give my life some worth

so NO, i won't become
so apathetic, i can't see..
that when I'm not "IMMUNE TO IT"
some-one really does....need me.

spark

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Dear Diary,

Iridescent light flows through the window as I ponder the probability of the coming autumn.

Probability? Indeed! Life can trickle away in one moment of time and I do not assume that there will be a tomorrow.

I peer out the wispy white curtains as though expecting to see the gray skis of Fall. Instead I see a tall beautiful yellow sun-flower basking in the summer sun! It makes me smile. It is always the little things that make me smile anyway.

I hate Fall because it precedes Winter and all the holidays. There is not one grain of happiness that has not been touched by the death of my parents. Not one day that I do not think of them, miss them, yet I know that they dwell in the alabaster shadows of peace.

Good night, sweet diary. Hold the pieces of my life together, one page at a time.

Margaret

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caged
 
Why do I feel so trapped?
Is it necessary to control someone so much they are unsure if they should breath?
Dicate when they can work?
How long they can check email?
Do I honesty need to leave numbers to where I will be
I sit like a carnary perched on a bar
no place to go only a caged view of what the world should be
It's too much of a hassle to truly be me so why let some of me be
Until I find that someone who understands
I can't be submissive to someone who does not believe
In God, in himself, striving for perfection financially, mentally & spiritually
I can't love you if you are a burden
I can only be what I am now
Unable to be me
Caged

Genta

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What I need
What I need is a man that understands what my needs are
A man that understands I like sports and a little wrestling too
That sometimes writing keeps me from flying to the moon
That I like a good book with plots and twists
But also sometimes I just need a simple meaningful kiss
That I need to be supported when I am undecided
Not torn down because what I want is not in his plans
He knows how to soothe me when work is giving me the blues
He understands that I am family oriented
He'll understand that a talk with Momma is not the end of the world
He won't take out frustrations that I did not cause
Nor tell me that I am always the cause
He knows what I like and provides my needs
He can tell what my eyes are saying without one whisper
What I need is a man that only has eyes for me
What I need is a man being a man, not a boy pretending to be

Genta

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Space
I want my own space
A place where I can roam how I want
A place where I can be me and not worry about impressing anyone
A place where I can control who is there
I want to be able to breathe
I want to be able to truly relax
I want to be alone for more than an hour
I want to stay up without criticism
I am tired of the back and forth
I need my own space to where I can take root

Genta 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing to Feel

 

Like a worm in a cocoon

theses walls might as well be my tomb,

the larva transforms with beauty

and flies away;

Here I stay, hidden

insulated in a-self-made cocoon,

where I feel nothing

because there is nothing to feel.

 

© Margaret C. Rigsby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Atop'o'Ben Nevis


Life is at a standstill

as I look aroun'

the highest point in Scotland

here a won't be foun'


It may be clichéd

but trust me it is true

That being here makes me feel...

so much bet'er than you


This is where ave come fae

fae generations pas'

Bathe ma grannies came fae here

bit a may be the las'


It makes me feel pure bogin

knowin it's a fact

they all had the guts to stay here

an that's somefin tha' ave lacked


Mibey it's because I'm scared

that I'll be just another Scot

another anti unionist

Who tends tae dream a lot


And shite, am no that Scottish

wantin tae get away,

away fae 'the land o the brave'

... I know a canny stay


With those thoughts, pride is swept away

and the truth smacks really me hard

....am no on ben nevis

It's just another borin day


ave never actually been oan Ben Nevis

just in a dorm named after the hill

It's a lads so I shouldn even be here

but every day o this trip a will


Not cause of a feelin o pride

trust me you'll laugh at this

the dorm has a pure fancy bathroom

where it's a novelty tae piss


o'course ave never been oan Ben Nevis

nine out oot o' ten Scots havny tae

.. but five oot o' ten scots are leaving

but for me... today isny that day


I'll let masel feel Sco'ish

gee way tae the feelin's o pride

I'll savor my last years in the country

wae ma family as ma guide


ma guide for when it is time to leave

probably when Granny Walker and Annie are deed

that way I won't feel am abandoning 'em

no mare words tae heed


Every day as I feel mare Scottish

the mare I wan' a get away

but at's cause of unemployment levels

it's no shame o where a come fae


but strangley am embarresed o steryotypes

cause we don go aroun wearin a kilt

nor do we all play the backpipes

an in the glens oor hooses aint built


The day a say 'see ya' tae Scotland

tears will roll down ma face

I probably would take ages tae leave

if ma sister hadny made it a race


I havney been oan ben Nevis

But i've been in Glen Co an' Glen fine

this time it isny jus dorm rooms

just real precious memories o mine


Jennifer -Annie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Probable Son
By HoneyBear
 
There was once a man
who had two sons.
The first born, Michael, was the manageable one
the second born Jason, took more of the asking
you see.....
he was the probable son.
 
 
Not that Jason, the second one,
was the insuborinate one,
He just couldn't cooordinate ....
 his life and his fun!
 
not dependable, but loveable
the youngest one,
despite the mayhem he created
 this probable son
 
The manageable son
would get up
before sun
and toil all day
in the fields
'till the work
was all done.
The probable son
would get up
and run
to play all day
b'neath the
bright
yellow
sun.
 
Naturally,
the father bestowed
greater rewards on the
manageable one
but the likeable,
loveable,
probable one
 got only slightly
his part
of that fun.
 
"Dad!"
Cried the probable one,
because he thought
he should have
as much as the
manageable son.
 
Angered,
and saddened, Jason
 packed his bags
to run.
 
"Instead
of working under
the sun
It is quite probable,
that the probable one,
would take this attitude..........
 and run..."
so fretted the father and his manageable son.
 
"Father,"
said the manageable one
still worried for his brother,
the probable one,
"Did you know
he would run?"
 
"I let him go,
Manageable son.
I, as a father
tried all that I could
and one who does
not work nor bother
cannot survive as this."
 
Wise was this man of his years,
For he knew the probable one
would come back in tears,
(If not for years, nay nay, but not for years,
years,
years)
 
So he cried
inside
 and looked
solemnly down the road
 
for his probable son, Jason,
his beloved one
to return back home
 
His heart was heavy
heavy with worry
and fear.
 
He had not seen his youngest
in almost a year.
 
To the manageable son
he turned
his worried eyes deeped and burned
sorrow and pride and hurt and love
he turned to tell the eldest what he had done 
 
He had placed in the pocked of his probable son
the scripture that read of
 
"The Prodigal Son"
 
it was hoped he'd read it
some time on his run
 
Than, said to the eldest one,
"The Lord be with him
where 'er he went....
 
The Lord will be with my son
of this I can vent."
 
 
Well....this tale is twisting, and
as years passed by very quickly
the wise father, who grew very old and sickly,
said to the manageable son, one day,  
"Let's go into town, to sell the harvests of hay
collect our pennies so
our bills we may pay."
 
While in the streets of this deserted town
they heard great ramblings
of a new preacher in town
 one who talked of redemptions
and the love of Fathers and Sons
 
Oh! who would preach to the peoples
of such wonderful things?
We must go see
.away they ran......until they did come....
 upon a preacher.....
Yes, quite probably....the probable one, His son
 
........and quite brilliantly!  He spoke with his hands on a bible
 quite old
and inscribed on the inside....
 written from "Father to Son"
 
now...from this tale to be told.....
 
take it and make it a life lasting gift
the words of your Fathers
from the heart, its a gift!
 
The father cried, "Jason!"
and placed a hand on his heart
than thanked the dear lord
for doing His part
 
For making Jason and Micheal
both true works of art
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Silent Friendship

Jennifer-Annie

 

I was an odd child... apparently.  I hated being around people too often- not to say I didn't have any friends, as I had quite a lot of friends, but there was part of me that needed to be alone.

 

The strangest part of it was walking... I could never walk with people.  If I was out with my friends, and we weren't like.... out deliberately, let's say walking to school, I would always need to be at least two feet behind or ahead of them with my music pumping in my ears through my cassette player (nowadays it's the same except I have the wonder of an mp3 player) and I would make as little conversation as possible- which was odd as I was the 'chatty' girl who always got teachers telling her to 'shut up' or... whatever.  I guess nothing has changed that much really, the only difference is that I can pass it off as worrying about studying and that. 

 

    Walking with my music became part of my life and every day of mine required at least an hour of walking (if you considered walking to school and back, going out with my mates and buying messages that would take up most of the time so usually I got at least two done...) so every day at a random time, whether six in the morning (I got up at five to get some time alone away from my family) or seven at night I went out for a long walk.

 

And usually so did dogboy.

 

On about 80% of my walks there was dog boy or dog man or even, my friends favourite, neddy dog boy.  He was a tall man, about 6,5, in his twenties who I never once saw without a green or blue trackie on (which gave him the 'neddy' part) and he wa.  Dog boy had a small mongrel that I never once saw him without, why, I don't know, cause it was one ugly dog.  On every walk we made about two seconds eye contact before going on our way- I couldn't help but wonder 'who are you'.

 

And wonder I did- or rather- we did.  My best friend Kirsty and I made quite a sport out of dog boy.  Late at night when we were sobering up or just lazing around I would say 'I wonder if he goes on the walks to escape a nagging wife.'  Usually Kirsty would counter it by saying 'We live in Glasgow, more likely he's escaping his flat to get away from his ex's constant pleas for child support'... we were nice 12/13 year olds.

 

Kirsty always made it so that I was never too naive about dog boy.  She would never let me think she was a good person.  If I even considered he had a job she would say something like 'In Glasgow?' completely ignorant of the fact that both of our parents were still together and had jobs... we were fond of stereotypes. 

 In my mind dogboy was a friendly uncertain man that was perhaps... uncertain about women.  But in reality, chances are, he probably was a divorced, unemployed drug addict who went out on walks towards his next fix.  It seems cruel that I thought like that but me and Kirsty couldn't sit down in queens Park without someone coming over to us and saying 'Di' you see ma eccies lyin aroon anywhere?' or something to that extent.

 

I never did learn dogboy's name.  But I always saw him as a friend over the many years I saw him. 

 

My walks ended a year and a half ago....

 

I haven't saw him since... I wonder what he thought about me... if he made up some life story about me like I did about him. 

 

Even though I didn't know him, he shall always remain in my heart as my eternal... silent friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Darkness



The darkness pulls me in, deep inside of myself, to the blackest parts of my soul.  It traps me and renders me immobile.  For days I go through the motions of life...not for me but for my daughter.  It scares her when I am not me.  She doesn't understand it, yet she sometimes sees it coming before it consumes me.  She knows I cannot help it and I pray she won't blame me.  I pray she will escape.  Please let the darkness pass my children.  Let it encompass someone else but not them.

I've swapped one darkness for another yet I persist the fight to emerge victorious. The first darkness often invited me to drive to the edge of a cliff and beyond.  I remember thinking that I wished I was at my parent's home so I could take one of my father's guns and end that dark world.  I prevailed and refused the invitations to the cliff and the urge to take a gun until medicines were offered.  Then, at least, when the darkness came, I could take a pill and it would leave me.  But now it is a different darkness...one that leaves me unaware and unable to fight it.  I hang on so I don't drown in it.  Somewhere deep within me a voice reminds me to hang on for just a little while longer...until the dark waters recede until the next time.
 

~ Corina Carrasco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Footsteps echoed in the darkness. The stillness of the night
allowed me to hear everything cats prowling in the bushes, a distant
cough, joggers' feet lightly touching the ground, and yes, those
footsteps

I wondered who the footsteps belonged to. They were firm, solid
footsteps. Self-assured. This person knew who they were, what they
wanted, and where they were going. I admired that. I always have.

The two men I have been most attracted to in my life had that
walk...the one that told me they knew who they were. The one that
told me they knew where they were going. No, they probably had a
lot of doubts about who they were and where they were going, but
what I mean is that they had this inner knowledge of who they were
as a person and what they were willing to do and not do to remain
true to themselves. They knew where they were going in that they
knew which lines they could cross and which they could not.

I liked that about them. I still do. And I hope that one day the
footsteps echoing in the darkness will be coming toward me, toward
my house, my person, my life.

~Corina Carrasco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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