January 2007 Submissions

A Timeless New Year
 
Amandine looked at the gradually rising glittery ball. She was with her best friend Sue Ellen and her fiancé Mark on New York's Times Square, in the middle of a massive crowd. A lot of individuals were carrying bottles of champagne and plastic glasses, waiting for the midnight hour on this very last day of the year. She was very disappointed that her friend Pierre wasn't with her; he was so far away in France and she felt alone. Pierre was a visiting professor of medieval history at New York's Columbia University. Two weeks ago he had to leave on an emergency visit to his family as his father had suddenly passed away. He said he would try to join her if it were at all possible. Amandine guessed it just wasn't going to be so.

 

Amandine recalled the day she met Pierre. Her job as research assistant in the ethnology department meant that she was almost a permanent visitor to the huge reference library. She specialized in the study of the Amazonian tribes of Brazil, and was always buried deep in thick heavy reference books. One day she needed to get a book from a high shelf, and looked around for a step to stand on. Seeing one a long way off, she went to get it. Upon returning to the shelf with the step, she found him standing there, smiling, handing the book over.

 

"Please excuse my intrusiveness," he said in perfect English. "I was working over there at the nearby table and saw you needed help. He looked at the book title. You're studying the Amazonian tribes?" Offering his hand, he continued, "I'm Pierre Roustan, visiting professor of medieval history."

 

Accepting his gesture, Amandine replied, "It's nice to meet you, I'm Amandine Lannes. Thank you for the book; you really didn't have to go through the trouble. All the best books always seem to be on the highest shelves. Yes, I'm an ethnologist and the Amazon is my speciality. How long is your visit?"

 

"Until the end of the year, then I return to my dusty office at the Sorbonne," Pierre remarked. "You have a very French name, you know? It's from the southwest, where my family also originates. We have a farm called the Les Trois Chênes, the Three Oaks, near Tarbes. It's been in the family since the 15th century."

 

"My great-grandfather was from the Carcassonne area; he settled in lower Quebec on the eastern coast line of Canada in the mid-18th century. The main family is still there but I was born right here in New York, as my father is into the mercantile business. I've been to France many times to study at the Sorbonne and to visit the southwest."  

 

They met several times in this manner and finally Pierre asked Amandine to go with him to a dinner given by the head of the French department. He explained that she would like the convivial French conversation and environment. She accepted and from that point they made it a regular habit to be together when they found the time.

 

Finally the shiny ball reached top and champagne bottles were popping every where. Amandine felt a searing pain in the back of her head then everything went black.

 

Amandine found herself in a carriage in the front of a large iron gate. The sign in front announced the place as Les Trois Chênes. She hardly finished reading the plaque when she remembered that this was Pierre's parents' farm, and suddenly was jolted by the sudden movement of the carriage as the gates swung open. She felt uncomfortable and hot as if she were wearing out of season clothes. Looking around she saw that she was wearing a cornsilk blue dress in what was assuredly the finest brocaded fabric. Over her shoulders was a light-weight wool shawl of a darker shade, and at her feet were dainty slippers. Completely lost in thought, she didn't hear the door of the carriage open and a valet waiting.  

 

"Madmoiselle, Madmoiselle…"

 

"P … please excuse me," stammered Amandine in French, without thinking . "Could you please tell me what year this is?"  

 

The valet looked starlted at the question. He turned to the driver, then answered in French,

"My Lady, we are in the year of Our Lord fourteen hundred and fifty-three (1453)."

 

Shocked, Amandine felt frozen to the spot. In the distance she heard a shuffling of feet and another voice, more refined this time. It sounded uncannily similar to Pierre's.   

 

"My dear Wife, you must be very tired after your long voyage. I was sorry to hear about your father's passing, having received your message the day before yesterday. Please come inside and rest a moment," said the voice. Finding the courage to look up at the person speaking, she was astonished to see… Pierre. But it couldn't be; it just wasn't possible. This startling confrontation was too much for Amandine and as she stepped down from the carriage she fainted in his arms.

 

"Amandine, ma cherie, are you all right?" Amandine heard the familiar voice again and felt something tapping her face. Eyes closed, she moaned in French,

 

"Oh Pierre, I don't know what's happening, but I'm so glad you're here, no matter what the year or the place is."

 

"But we are in the first hour of the New Year in New York, Amandine cherie. I took the first plane from Paris to New York and arrived not too long ago. You know how the roads are always clogged in the evenings, especially on this very special night."

 

Amandine sat up and looked around. She saw Pierre with his quiet smile bending on one knee  before her, and Sue Ellen and Mark standing behind him. All around them people were dancing, hopping and shouting, "Happy New Year!" Pierre helped her up and held her with two strong hands.  

 

"Bonne Année, Amandine. I'm so happy to be here with you, and would like to spend the rest of the year with you as well and why not, the rest of my life, too. Please say you think the same."  

 

"I do, Pierre, I do," replied Amandine, remembering her dream.  

Joanne

Memorial to my Dad, gone 4 years ago today

He stood 5 foot 9, thin as a rail

His hair used to be so bright

Gray whitened it thru time

Jeans always, t-shirt too

Cigarette in his mouth, as always

Beer close by

Did he know the combo would make him die?

 

He started smoking when he was only ten

I guess they didn’t know how bad it was then

And thru the years, he kept smoking those things

Didn’t they know what they did to you?

I’m guessing they didn’t but who knows in the end

Blasted cancer sticks will kill you, my friend

 

He quit for a time I remember that will

The cloud around his chair disappeared

Till he found out he had cancer again

And that was the end of it

 

He smoked and smoked until almost the end

Literally until almost the end

I remember well the last weekend he was home

A half of that cancer stick was all he could take

 

Two days later, I sat by his bed

My Dad in a coma, barely breathing

Each breath harder for him to take

People shouldn’t die like that

 

I wasn’t there when he breathed his last

I couldn’t take it anymore

I remember the call

I knew he was gone

 

Four years later

And so much as changed

And yet, I miss my Dad that will stay the same

 

Marie Kathryn Casalaspro

January 30, 2007

Sugar Sugar

 

(January 30, 2007)

 

“What the hell is on your mouth?” he asked, moving in for a closer look.

 

“New stuff to go over your lip gloss.  Makes your lips all sparkly.  And sexy.”

 

He looked more closely at her lips and shook his head.  “Sorry.  I prefer non-sparkly lips.”  Tilting her chin up with one hand, he leaned in for a kiss.  “But, I’ll take a kiss anyway.”

 

They both looked up as Scarlett entered the room.  “Hey you two.  What’s… Blake?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why are your lips sparkly?”

 

Frantically, he wiped at his lips.  “See?” he asked Ali.  “THIS is why I don’t like that crap!”  He continued to rub at his lips. 

Ali hid her smile behind one hand; Scarlett didn’t even TRY to hide her amusement.  “Ah, but babe,” she giggled, “it makes my lips sooo purty!  See?”  She turned to Scarlett and pointed at her mouth.  “It has a sugary, iridescent pearl powder that decorates my lips with a crystal-cut faceted effect.  And it’s available in 5 candy-like colors.”  She grinned, having practically recited the blurb on the package verbatim. 

Blake continued to rub at his mouth.  “Too bad the nasty stuff didn’t TASTE like candy…”

“Can’t have that Blake,” Scarlett teased.  “Otherwise we’d never pull you off her.”

“Yeah,” Ali agreed.  “Do they make Whopper-flavored lip gloss?”

“Just go away,” he muttered.

“So, he doesn’t like sparkly lips…” Scarlett began.

“Yeah,” Ali murmured, catching on quickly.  “Mind sparkles anywhere else?”  Blake just gaped at them, not believing what he’s hearing.  “Nah, I bet not,” she continued.  “Blake’s not into sparkles.  Here, Scarlett,” Ali dug into her pocket, pulling out the new Sugar Sugar Lip Topping she’d bought that morning.  “I bet Billy’d appreciate sparkly… lips.”

“Yeah,” Scarlett agreed.  “I BET he would!”  Tucking the container into her left front pocket, she walked out the door.  “Meetcha at HQ.”

“Sure thing!”  Grabbing a tissue from the end table beside her, she cleaned her lips of all traces of sparkly stuff.  “There!  All gone.  Now I can kiss you goodbye.”  She leaned up and pecked him on the cheek.  “Better?”

His mind still stuck on the possibilities behind sparkly lip gloss… and the idea that his friend might actually find out, he shook his head weakly.  “Um, Ali?”

“Not now, Cowboy.  Gotta run.”  She blew him a kiss and ran out the door.  Closing it behind her, she grinned at Scarlett.  “I think we’ve traumatized him.”

“Nah,” she grinned back, “but don’t be surprised if he’s got all five colors waiting for you when you get home tonight!”

Amy


My Weapon
I look at my mouth
And wonder how
is this a weapon
I then realize it is
Like a sheath
For a sword
The words that exit can
Be for good and evil
My mouth has many other uses
I can use it to eat and drink
It releases items that may not be needed
Although I always think before I speak
Sometimes my mouth is a weapon
~Never silent but always deadly
It has a neat design ~ a set of full lips
Lips that lure and deceive
I think the smile is like a web ~
Waiting to capture prey
A tongue used to enunciate sounds
A kiss is my favorite use
Never short but always sweet!
 
Genta
Love’s Sweet Revenge
June Monthly Challenge
 
Mickie sat and tapped her fingers against the table. How dare he make her wait? How dare he place something or someone before her? It was their anniversary for Pete’s sake. She had pulled out the silk pink dress. The satin tablecloth was covered with shrimp and vegetables in dark sauce. She had lo mien noodles and wonton soup plus the crispy noodles. She also had the Chinese doughnuts. Where was he and who was riding a motorcycle near her house at 11:30pm?
 
Shane was excited. He had waited forever it seemed for his motorcycle to be finished. How lucky was he to get it on their anniversary. He wanted to call but figured it would be the ultimate gift. She loved motorcycles anyways. However when Shane entered the house, he knew their wires had gotten crossed.
 
Mickie's anger was not hard to see but she decided for her own sake to not overreact. He was only four hours late. He only stood before her more excited over his motorcycle than about their anniversary. Mickie knew that she would have to do something impressible. But what could she do? She listened as he told her the specifications of the bike. She nodded when Shane stated it was lightweight. For some reason, her mind turned to the dumpster down the street. She smiled wickedly. She was about to achieve love's sweet revenge.
 

Genta


Bring me the Sunset in a cup
She sat and looked at the paper in front of her. She was exhausted. Between making sure everything was okay with her family, surviving work, and keeping the house on its foundation, she was stretched beyond her means. She made sure homework was in the proper book bags. Lunches were always packed. Notes were signed. The to do list were always completed. Nothing was ever to be completed the next day.
 
He watched as she tried to read one of the many permission slips the kids placed before her. She was as beautiful as the day they married. She was definitely the glue of the family. He had cleaned the kitchen. He bathed the children and entertained them before putting them to bed.
 
He normally tried to help her as much as possible. He asked if there was anything her could do for her personally. She always joked she never saw the sunset and wanted him to turn back time. He knew that answer was more sarcastic now than it had been in previous days.
 
So he had a mission. He wanted her to feel special. He went to the craft store with an idea. The woman thought he was crazy and sweet all wrapped in one. He had a picture to work with for inspiration. The sand was the simplest to use and easiest to find. But the perfect cup was not. It had to be glass and just a beautiful as she was.
 
So he questioned her again to check her response. Again she answered, You know I missed the sunset, so you could bring me the sunset in a cup. He moved to his study and looked for the bag. He smiled as he reentered the kitchen. He sat the bag in front of her and kissed her forehead gently.
 
He sat beside her and smiled sweetly, Your sunset in a cup!

Genta

Baby Boy
September Monthly Challenge
The room was ready. It was prepared with care. Everyone chipped in and was excited. Kelis was happy for her parents but dreaded having another younger sibling. She thought Isaiah was more than enough. Isaiah was excited because he was no longer the youngest. Jenna never said it but she had hesitation about this pregnancy. Kelis was an easy labor. Isaiah was a hard pregnancy. Jenna reserved voicing her opinion and concerns to Jonathan.
 
Jonathan was already nervous. He was looking at the financial view. He saw bills, diapers, milk and clothes. He and Jenna heavily debated about having another. They were already on the verge of struggling. Jenna moved downstairs and pulled down the totes. She opened one and saw the christening gown. She smiled as she remembered Kelis and Isaiah’s christenings. She worried secretly though. Could she ever admit that she thought this baby’s was not Jonathan’s?
 
Jenna bit her lip. She had bid it in her heart. She told herself that he pushed her to the other man. The other man was Jason. Jason had always been a really good friend, almost like a brother. Jenna admired the faith that Jason exhibited. He and his wife were having issues. Jenna and Jonathan were having issues. Jenna and Jason found temporary comfort with each other. Jenna has wished so many times that it never happened. She dealt with her feelings for Jason. Yes ~ there were feelings but not enough to disrupt her or his life more importantly not the family her and Jonathan had made.
 
Jenna did not know how long she could keep her betrayal to herself. Although she had always felt that he cheated on her. She did not want to use that as an excuse. Jenna walked back upstairs. She smiled as she observed her family watching a movie. She thought her baby boy would complete her family. Now she worried if she to fight at all costs to hold on to her family.

Genta



A Mermaid's Tale of Love
by Cheri


It had been a perfect day for quiet thoughts and simple pleasures, like lying nearly bare under a warm tropical sun. How she loved these islands!   To the sound of enormous waves crashing on the rocks, she adorned her body with sea shells and flowers, and nothing much else.   She was, in fact, alluring, with her golden hair shimmering and glistening from the wet waves
that showered her body day and night.   Her lips were the color of conch shells, deep coral pink, and as soft as the touch of the sea was against her body.  She waited only for her Captain to put his lips on them. They were only for him.   If only, if only, he would notice her, she thought.   If only she could feel his hands around the places of her body that ached for him.   If only, if only she could feel his lips on hers, she would have lived a dream come true.

    Than a tear came to her eye.  For, she was a mermaid.  She could never leave the sea, nor live on land. But she had seen him from afar.  He was tall and handsome, and always wore his white shirt open, his muscular body appearing tanned and strong.  And he commanded a huge ship with billowing white sails!  There were many men under his command, and she loved to watch him as he belted out commands to them. What would he want with her, she thought, I am not like him.   She had tried to become like him one evening, though?  She had come ashore, in the hopes she may grow legs, but to no avail.   Out of the water too long, she found herself gasping for air and nearly dying on the beach.

  I will try again, she said to herself as she flicked her long, blue tail and jumped into the sea.  Her bare breasts lost the conch shells that were covering them, and from her hair, she left a trail of orchids.  She would leave them there on the rocks, hoping that her tall, handsome Captain would find them.  Maybe he would become enchanted by them and be put under a love spell by them.  She just knew she loved him dearly.   And then off she swam into the crystal, sparkling depths of the sea to await for him.


 
Raindrops
Refreshing, peaceful
Sprinkles, pours, spits
Never enough desert springtime
Showers
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
My Love
Always at ease
He sits and waits for me
My reason for being here now
My friend
 
Amy

No Right Way

 

(January 22, 2007)

 

Blake opened one eye and glanced at the caller ID on his cell phone.  Groaning, he sat up.

 

“Who is it, babe?” Ali asked from beside him.

 

“Melinda.  Who else?”

 

Ali rolled her eyes and forced herself out of bed and into Blake’s discarded t-shirt.  Running her fingers through her disheveled hair, she left him sitting on the edge of the bed, ringing phone in hand.

 

Albert glanced up from the morning paper and did a double take.  “What’s the matter?  You okay?”

 

“Yeah…” she replied nervously.  “Why?”

 

“I just wasn’t expecting you up so early.  You two aren’t fighting are you?”

 

“No.  Not at all.”  She yawned and covered her mouth.  “He got a call from Melinda.  Thought it best to vacate the bedroom before I could rip the phone out of his hands.”

 

“Ah, I see.”  Albert gave his best friend a sympathetic look.  “I’m guessing that this means he still hasn’t told her about you yet?”

 

Unable to voice her thoughts, she just shook her head.

 

“That’s not good.”

 

“No, it’s not,” she sighed, fearing the tears that were so close to the surface.  “And I’m not sure who I want to kick harder – me or him.”

 

“Him, definitely him.  You’ve been too long without a nice guy to be held responsible.”

 

“Gee thanks, Albie,” she replied sarcastically, leaning into the arm he offered her.  “Thanks for the therapy session.  Can I borrow a pair of your sweats?  I wanna go for a run but don’t wanna go back in there.

 

“Understood.  You know where they are, babe.”

 

“Thanks, Albie.”  She planted a chaste kiss on his forehead and headed for his room.

 

~*~

 

“Hey, Mel, what’s up?” he asked, scared of what her answer might be.

 

“Nothing.  Everything.  Hell… I don’t know.”

 

“That doesn’t sound encouraging, honey.”

 

“I know.  I’m sorry.  I’ve just…” Her voice trailed off.  Taking a deep breath, Melinda forced herself to go on.  “There’s a lot I need to talk to you about but I don’t know where to start.”

 

“Um, start with the good news?”

 

“It’s yours.”

 

Blake choked on his response.  “What the hell are you talkin’ about, Mel?”  He shook his head in an attempt to clear the cobwebs.  Afraid he already knew what she meant.

 

Melinda got angry.  “What the f*** do you think I’m talking about, Blake?  I’m freakin’ pregnant!”

 

“No wonder you’re calling at the crack of dawn then.”  Unfortunately, the words were out of his mouth long before he realized his mistake.

 

“Well, excuse me, mister, for disturbing your sleep!” she screamed into the phone.  “It IS your fault that I’m in this situation!”  Oh god, I sure hope he’s the reason…

 

Oh no… not this again… “I didn’t do it by myself, Melinda.”

 

“So this is my fault then?”

 

“I didn’t say…” he sighed exasperated.  “It’s… can we start over?”

 

Biting off her angry retort, she agreed.  “Okay.  Let’s try this again.  Blake, I’m pregnant.  You’re the father.  Help me.”

 

Blake looked at the empty side of the bed and bit his lip.  What was he going to do?  “I’m sorry this has happened.  I don’t know what else to say.  It’s not what we’d planned.”

 

“No s***,” she laughed.  “But is it a bad thing, really?”

 

He smiled weakly and felt some of the tension leave his body.  “No, it’s not a bad thing.”  At least, not until I tell Ali.  Then it’s going to be a bad thing because she’s gonna kill me.  “It’s just bad timing.”  And that’s an understatement, dumbass.

 

~*~

 

Ali picked up speed as she rounded the corner.  Trying to remember that she’d forgotten to procure a bra, she refrained from running flat out.  It didn’t matter anyway since her thoughts were traveling at twice the speed of light. 

 

He’s going to leave and never come back.  There’s no other explanation.

 

No, he’s going to leave her and not you.

 

I don’t care… I just don’t want to lose him.  I can’t lose him, not now…

 

The sound of her favorite singer's voice in her ear forced her attention back to her mp3 player.  She growled at it when she recognized the song.

 

Baby I love you

Don’t wanna lose you

Don’t make me let you go

Took such a long time

For me to find you

Don’t make me let you go

 

“Shut the f…” she began but was distracted by a vibration at her hip.  Sighing, she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and knocked her earphones off one ear.  “What?”

 

“Gee Cookie,” Blake griped, “I’ve missed you too.  Where the hell are you?”

 

S***.  His voice definitely didn’t sound good.  He seemed on the edge of breaking down and that was not her cowboy.  “I was too tempted to rip the phone out of your hand so I left to give you some privacy.”

 

He smiled into the phone, imaging the earful Melinda would’ve gotten had Ali done jus that.  “So, where are you?”

 

Ali frowned; he sounded much too desperate.  “Out for a run.  I’ll be back in two shakes, cowboy.  Keep the bed warm, ‘kay?”

 

“’Kay.”  He snapped the phone shut without so much as a goodbye.

 

Forcing her heart back into her chest, Ali turned towards home.

 

~*~

 

She stood in the kitchen, head bent over the sink when she felt the eyes on her back.  Turning, she found Albert staring at her.  “What now?”

 

“I’m not sure but I heard him yelling not long after you left.  He hasn’t come out since he discovered you weren’t here.  He said ‘Where is she?’ I told him I had no idea and he stormed off.”

 

“Aw, crap.”

 

“You’re starting to sound just like him, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I’d noticed.  It’s funny when he’s here; annoying when he’s not.”  Ali leaned against the kitchen counter and debated on what to do.  “So, now what?”

 

“Now you come back here, with me,” came a voice from the hall.  Blake walked into the kitchen, frowning and not looking happy.

 

“What’s the…” Albert started.

 

Blake glared at him.  Now, if you don’t mind.  I don’t have all day.”

 

“Um, okay…” Since when?  Wasn’t he just last night talking about spending all day in bed?  Figuring her questions would soon be answered; she shrugged at Albie and followed her lover down the hall. 

 

Opening the bedroom door, she saw him pacing between the bed and the bathroom.  “What’s up, cowboy?”

 

“We need to talk.  And you’re not going to like it.”

 

Ali sunk down onto the foot of the bed and waited for the worst.

 

~*~

 

“And you’re absolutely positive that this baby is yours?” she asked for at least the third time.

 

“Why would she lie to me?” he raged.

 

Why wouldn’t she? Ali thought sadly.  Especially if she’s been screwing Flint like Albie told me…  “I don’t know, Blake.  I just don’t know.”  She sighed and shook her head.  “I give up.  Nothing I say is getting through to you and every time I open my mouth, I just p*** you off more.  So…”

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Me?” Ali asked.  “I can’t imagine what’s wrong with me.  I finally, finally find an honest, caring man and he runs out on me!”

 

“I don’t have any choice.”

 

Ali rolled her eyes, trying desperately to not let her mind go to that dark place it so often likes to visit.  “No choice?  Just because she’s having your baby?”

 

“I have to take care of her.”

 

Wish I could have been that lucky.  “You can take care of her without marrying her, you know.  You’re going to regret this.”

 

I already do. “My mother would skin me alive if she knew I didn’t do the right thing.  Wouldn’t you expect the same if you were in her position?”

 

“I wasn’t allowed that option.  But that’s another story for another time.”

 

Blake turned quickly and looked at her.  Ali avoided his eyes, knowing she’d said too much.  Damn!  And it was too late to take it back.

 

“What are you talking about?  You’re not… you know… too?”

 

Seeing the shock and total fear on Blake’s face, she almost laughed.  Instead, she waved one hand in the air.  “No, I’m not… I’m not even talking about the present.  I… never mind.  Let me help you pack.”

 

She turned to pick a pair of his jeans up off the dresser.  Blake took her arm and turned her towards him.  What are you talking about?” he whispered, scared.

 

Ali refused to meet his gaze.  “Its ancient history, cowboy.  Now come on.  Albie’s made your flight reservations.”

 

Blake refused to let her go.  “Why won’t you tell me?” 

 

She looked into his eyes, then quickly looked away, not able to bear the pain she saw in them.  “Because it won’t change a thing and it hurts too much to think about.  Talking… talking about it isn’t an option.”

 

“Ali,” he pleaded.

 

“Sorry.  Pack.  Now.”

 

Watching her go back to gathering his clothes, he had to swallow back a sob.  The simple, domestic act of picking up his dirty laundry had made him choke up.  Why now?  Why was he having such strong feelings for a girl he can no longer have?  He did love Melinda… so why was he so ambivalent about this baby?  And securing a relationship with her?

 

What am I going to do without you, Ali? 

 

~*~

 

“Do you want me to go with you?” Albie offered while Blake was out stowing his suitcase in the car.

 

Ali shook her head.  “No, I think it’ll be easier if its just us.  I might actually be able to tell him goodbye if there aren’t any witnesses.”  She forced a smile to her face.

 

“You’re not fooling me,” he chided, pulling her into a hug.  “I’ll be here for you when you get home.”

 

“Thanks,” she mumbled against his shoulder.  “I’d better go.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll have the margaritas waiting.”

 

Ali couldn’t help but laugh.  “Midori, right?”

 

“Of course!”

 

~*~

 

“Your flight’s getting ready to board.  You’d better go.”

 

“Ali…”

 

“Stop right there.  I can’t take any more of this.”  She looked out the window at the planes and did her best to ignore him and what he was floundering to say.

 

Blake looked down at his hands, fisted in his lap.  “I’m sorry… I don’t know what else to do.”

 

“You have to do what you think is right.  And if this is it… I won’t stop you.”

 

“Do you want to stop me?”

 

Ali bit her lip, hard.  Don’t do this to me, she thought irritably.  “You’re going to miss your plane.  Goodbye, Cowboy. It was nice having you around.  I’m gonna miss that smile.”  She leaned in and kissed his cheek, pulling back sooner than she wanted to.  Blake lifted his hand and reached out for her; quickly she stood and backed away.  If he touches me, even once, I’m going to lose it…  “See ya in the funny pages, babe.”

 

“Ali…” he swallowed hard, tried again.  “Please, give me a reason not to leave.”

 

She stopped in her tracks, back still to him.  “You’re the one who told me you had to do the ‘right thing’.  Don’t make me make your choices for you.”

 

“You’re right.  I’m sorry.  I just don’t wanna let you go.  I need you.”

 

“I need you too, but now I can’t have you.  Familiar ground for me.”  She wiped the tears from her cheek and glanced back over her shoulder.  “Go home to Melinda and be a good husband.”  Her heart ached with the words she knew she had to say, true or not.  “She can love you better than I ever could.  And you were born to be a daddy.”  At least that last part was true.  She turned and walked away from him for the last time.

 

He stood, heart on his face, watching the true love of his life walk away… and out of his life forever.

 

What have I done?

 

Amy


In 2001, my oldest boy got in trouble with the law in the area of sexual assault, he was 15 at the time. He didn't hurt anyone or even touch anyone. He solicited a "young" girl for oral sex and exposed himself. At that time I thought that was about the most betraying and hurtful thing anyone could have ever done in my life. Especially one of my children. I was a daycare Lead Teacher at the time. So it crushed me that he would attempt an act like that. And would my career be in jepordy because of it? Would my daughter be safe around him? Will he be in jail? Will he be a registered sex offender? My heart was torn in a million peaces. But I stood by him through court. Worked with the state attorney and our public defender, he got a misdemeanor Class A assualt on a minor and probation.
 
    Over the next 5 years it was really hard on the entire family. He became violent, uncontrollable, and became just totally different boy. I was a single mom at the time, so it was a major strain on all of us. I had two other children, and it seemed like my oldest was just draining me of all the time and energy i had. At the time i didnt notice though. However, during the next 3 years he was in and out of psych wards because he threatened suicide. At one place they said he was bipolar, the other place said he was sociopath, and then they just couldnt figure out what was wrong with him. Doctor after doctor, medication after medication, it seemed whatever it was wrong with him only got worse. He sabotaged my relationships with the men I dated, each time going through a suicide attempt spell, making sure he got my attention, so the guys would just wind up leaving. My other two kids were scared of him and wanted nothing to do with him. It wasn't easy.
 
    In 2003, I met a wonderful man online in an Adult chat room. We chatted off and on for a few months, then he was shipped to Kuwait. He was in the National Guard. I had no idea when he would be back or anything. But I knew deep inside, he was the one for me. While he was in Kuwait, i dated others, but nothing serious. We talked all the time when he was there. He spent WAY too much on me by calling every single day. He talked to all the kids on the phon, sent them pictures of Kuwait. When he called and told me not to write, because he probably wouldnt receive them, my heart dropped. Then he said he was coming home. This was about a year later, I was so excited. He got off the plane was home a week and drove out to see me. And wound up staying 3 weeks. It was amazing, my son even straightened out for a bit. He didn't act up or anything. I thought maybe he found a male that he could actually relate to and get a long with
   
    Over the next 6 months, my, now husband, and i traveled back and forth 6 hours one way to visit at least once a month for a weekend visit. Especially if my kids and I had 3 day weekends. Well, it didn't take long be for my oldest decided to start back up on the suicide threats, when the weekend was coming. Making so we had to cancel. One February he tried this, I put him in the hospital, and left for my visit. It sounds cruel, but I had already talked to his counselor and she said it would be a good thing for me and the others to get away without him, and it would teach him that he cant rule my life. So we left and saw my husband *now husband*. My son stopped pulling that when it came to visits. But his behaviors got worse and he started making visits miserable.
 
    Through all that, he asked me to marry him. (my now husband) It was a big move, and a lot of responsibility. But my husband didn't mind, he is 6 years younger than me and no kids. He didnt care, he loved me and said he wanted to be with me. And would help me with my son as much as he could. And he did. We were married in August 2004 in a small ceremony at the City Capital Building. The move was pretty fast, we had a house by the middle of August. I quit my job and started fixing the house and packing things to move. The move was horrible. My son started acting up, my husband and i started fighting and it just got worse from there after we moved. Constantly fighting, was making me sick. And it did happen. The stress caused me to become so ill i was close to bed ridden. The docs didn't believe it was ALL stress, but the stress wasnt happening. So that added more stress to the situation.
   
    My son had become more and more agressive towards his siblings, on Saturday morning, my son was arguing with his other brother, when the next thing i know my daughter comes in with red marks on her arms and throat. She said she just told her brother to leave the other one alone, and then he tried to choke her and grabbed her throwing her to the floor. Her head was inches from the corner of a table. So I called his probation officer and she said call the police. So I did. From there, it just became a big living hell for me. The police officer asked my daughter, in private if she was scared of him, she said "yes". The officer cuffed him right there and took him to jail.
 
    I was between enraged to heartbroken. My son was arrested and my daughter hurt. The next few weeks were even worse. We had to go between counselors and the courts. I had phone calls from friends and family saying that my son was calling them asking them to live with them because I kicked him out, and that I had  been abusing them, etc. He was in jail and still causing problems. He wound up in the jail for 5 weeks. We worked with the county attorney and also the public defender to set up a deal to have him put in the psych ward here for help. Everyone had this set up, because we knew there was a problem. I had found letters in his room that he had written about how he was here on a "Mission". His mission was to rid people of evil, those he couldnt , he was sent here to kill. He said that he was going to invent a machine that would cure the world of evil. The letter went on and on about that. I showed it to the attorney's they should it too the judge. The judge wound up releasing him, stating that he was young and shouldn't have spent any time in jail. I think everyone's jaws dropped wide open. I was crying. I didnt know what would happen. Because my son's own counselor said if my son returned home, he would call child protective services to take my other two from the home.
 
*Little history. My son was from another man, he didn't share the same father with my other two. My other two children is my ex husband. We had been traveling back and forth to court this entire time during all this because my husband was trying to have childsupport reduced and have me arrested for leaving the state with the kids or make me move back. Regardless of if we had a place to live or not. This is another story in it's self. But just for a brief history, my ex hadnt called his own kids for close to 2 years and had nothing to do with them during all this. Just keep this part in mind.*
 
    I couldn't let that happen, it was not their fault this happened. I couldn't let them go back to their dad after all he has done to them. Which is a lot more than mentioned above. So I was stuck with a decision, what to do with my oldest. He was 18 , but in our state he is still a minor then. He had no where to go. And he couldn't come home. I told his attorney to make sure that he was not allowed back to our home. I dont know where the police would take him, but he was not allowed on our property. I was bringing the other two back from the counselors with my husband, and we saw him walking down the street from our house. I knew he'd gotten in the house. We got there, the door was open and he had been in there. There was even a call from his attorney warning him to get out of the house. I was furious. Then the phone rang, it was the local police. They wanted to know what to do with him. I told them I didn't know and explained it all. They said they would put him up in the local motel for a few days, but after that, I'd have to figure out something. I'm a mess for the next few days. My son was still allowed to go to school. So he walked to school and back. He and my other son was in the same school, my daughter just down the side walk. I talked to both principals and my daughters principal was very good about it, and said that they would make sure he didnt come down there. That same day, the highschool principal calls me telling me that my son was there telling him how I kicked him out, how I was abusing him, etc. Then this man proceedes to tell me that I was a bad parent. Yes, a bad parent. Needless to say I told him where to go. That was the deal breaker of all deals. Then the chief of police called, and wanted to talk. I talked to him over the phone, explained the situation, and told him I was tired of getting harassing calls from people because of my son. Especially the principal. Well the chief called the principal and that was the last time that man talked to me.
 
    The chief called me to the station to talk, he had said that he contacted child protection agency and they said they would not get involved. Only to act as protection for the family, if my son ever started stuff again. They could get him removed faster. So, I show up at the station. And find out he called my ex husband (not his father) and told him everything that was going on. Well, that pissed me off. Because he knew my ex was doing everything he could to find things to use against me in court, though he hadnt spoken to his own kids. Okay, I calm down. I go in the office and there sat Paul. The chief tried to work out a deal, I'm very reluctant because of all the trouble he caused and all the lies he told. And that my daughter and son were scared of him. He'd apparently threatened their lives more than once, but I didn't know this til he moved away. We were in the room talking and my ex husband talked, I just about walked out then. We had almost had things worked out where he would come stay at home until a place came open in the Job Corp. The police would check in every other day, a person from child protection would be checking in and he would see a counselor daily. He started to talk to my ex and told my ex that he didnt do anything wrong, that i was making it up. While i was sitting right in front of him. I got up, walked out of the office, and told the chief i dont care if that lil SOB lived on the streets. I dont want him near me or my family and I was getting a restraining order.
 
    I walked out, got in my car, and drove where my family was at the counselors. I went into melt down. My mind just finally couldnt take anymore of the stress. I spent 4 hours at the counselors. 2 just for them trying to get me to even talk. All i could do was hold a pillow crying and yet in rage at the same time. I had 4 counselors and a psychiatrist in the room, and I was in a catotonic state. My mind was shutting down. I no longer was able to handle what my son did 4 years ago, during the past 3 years, what he did to my daughter and that he betrayed me with everyone we knew, and that he called my ex for mere spite. I'd been sick. I felt guilty. Angry. Hurt. You name it.
 
    I felt destroyed inside. Beyond all that, I had to make a decision between my kids. Something I never thought I could do, I never let anyone or thing break us apart. I have been strong through all of it. And now here I am, a complete wreck. I never wanted to choose between my kids. And having to choose like that was the worst thing in my life. I still loved my son, yes , he betrayed me and did a lot of wrong things, but at the same time he is my son. In the end I had to make the decision. My son couldn't come home.
 
    He wound up living with my ex for some time. Of course it didn't work out and my ex kicked him out. He was 5 hours away, when he called and asked me to come get him. I couldn't. Not after alll that. While he was living with my ex, he was very vendictive, he would call and tell me he was going to help my ex take my other two away. He called my parents telling them I abused him etc. I just could'nt get past it. So a second time, I had to tell him no.
 
    He still caused problems after he wound up on his own with my family. They do not speak to me. We went 2 years with out speaking. He is now calling me and talking with me. He wants to come and see me now. But it's just too soon. I know 2 years, but we've only talked a couple times. The mother in me wants to, but, there is a part of me that doesnt trust him. I love him and I'm glad he is doing well for himself now. But time doesn't heal all wounds. Or erase the decisions we've had to make. The toughest choice in my life was to choose to choose between my kids. To choose what my heart wanted and what the mind knew was right. A choice no parent should ever have to make.
 
*this is a true story. I know there are many errors in it, but that's okay.*
   

Anissa


A short one...
 
 

Days of Wine and Roses

© 2007 S. Rhodes

 

 

A cold wind blew from the north as Jennifer stood by the graveside.  She rested a gloved hand on top of the rough surface of the tombstone and sighed.   Gone were the days of wine and roses, and only lonely years she had spent had only amplified her memories.

 

She stooped and laid a single rose on the hard cold ground.  The grass was a dull green, and the wind sent dried leaves swirling into the air.   Jennifer picked a few stray leaves off the rose where they had landed.

 

She smiled to herself as she remembered the day she had first met Neil and how he had showed up at her door with a big bouquet of spring flowers, even though it was mid-winter.   A brief image of his boyish face and he had looked at her with appreciation flashed through her mind, and then it was gone.

 

They had dined at a restaurant that was small and quaint, spending the evening sharing a bottle of wine and conversing easily.   He took her home and squeezed her hand, asking is he could see her again.  Of course she had agreed.

 

The months went by, and one day Neil presented her with a large bouquet of red roses and tied onto one of the stems was a ribbon with a ring.   They were soon married and although they were happy, they never had children.  Jennifer felt a familiar pang of loss and emptiness.

 

Fifty years was a long time to share your life with someone and the memories were bittersweet, but she wouldn't have traded them for anything else.

 

Slowly she turned and walked down a path.  One day she would be with him again but she would just have to be patient and wait until that day came.


She remembered the old adage of the ceremonious kiss. She quickly scanned the crowd looking for him. She was hoping against hope. She said a quick prayer to God that he would be there. And then.... She saw him. There he was. Walking towards her swiftly with a purpose and a look of determination in his eyes. Her heart raced as she watched him weave his way to her through the people. The crowd of excited people seemed to make perfect little spaces for him to wind through. She heard them shouting 15....14...13....Would he make it to where she stood in time? She was not sure he would. She thought about moving towards him but thought better of it. He seemed to be moving faster now. Faster than she ever knew him to be before. It was if he was being transported to her just for this kiss. She thanked God for answering her prayer.12...11...10...9...He looked so handsome. He was wearing that shirt she loved so much. The one she always stole from him to sleep in. It always smelled so good. It smelled like him.She begged God to please let him make it to her in time. 8...7...6....5...And then, he was there. Beside her. He wrapped his arms around her.She inhaled slowly looking into his eyes. He stared right back at her. He lifted one hand to hair. He caressed it slightly before running his hand up the nape of her neck and and tangling his fingers in the hair there. He leaned a bit closer to her ear. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her. He whispered into her ear "I will never miss a New Year with you. You are the one who completes me. You should never worry that I will not be here. I am always with you even when I am gone." 4....3....2....She smiled at him softly knowing what he said was true. Feeling very foolish for thinking he would not be there as he always had been. He leaned in. She waited for it.1.... Happy New Year!!!!!
She heard the screams around her. The fireworks were going off. This kiss. She let it linger on her lips. Tasted it. She ran her tongue over her lips. Savoring it. Her eyes felt heavy. Her body felt light. She began to slowly open her eyes. Eager for him to be the first thing her eyes laid upon in the new year. They were open but where was he? What had happened? He was just here. She frantically looked around. Maybe he had just moved to look at the fireworks. She turned in circles searching the crowd for him. There he was! She could see him walking through the crowd towards the outer limit of the onlookers. How did he get over there so fast? She wondered. She began to run after him. Screaming his name. Some people turned to see who was screaming. She just kept running through the crowd. Pushing people aside to get to him. People began to cuss her. Others shook their heads. Another crazy drunk New Yorker. She had him in her sights.She was almost there. She reached the street. Standing under a light pole. Looking to her left and right. Where had he gone now? He was just right here. She had seen him, felt him. She spun a full 180 to look back at the crowd. He wasn't there either. She spun back around. Praying to God to let her eyes fall upon him once more. This couldn't be happening. He had to be here. He said she completed him. He said he would always be here. She leaned against the light pole. Letting it hold her weight. Why God? She thought. She slid down the light pole. Pulling her knees up into her heaving chest. She hung her head and slowly began to cry. It had not been real. She had made it up. She had wanted it so badly she had made herself believe it to be true. He was gone. He was never coming back. Death does not allow it.She looked down touching the sleeve of his shirt she was wearing. Her favorite one to steal and sleep in.The only thing she had left of him.....  She began to sob feeling her chest tighten and the pain in her heart, it had returned.
By
Hettie Marshall

 

Happy Birthday To Me

 

Happy birthday to me 

‘Nother ring round this tree

I feel like I’m growing

Into what I should be.

 

Hidden in the dark

I kept putting my art

But now I am seeing

An inspirational spark.

 

Who would have thought law

Would be my big draw

Not with my writing

But painting Justice with awe.

 

The reverence I feel

Is personal and real

But to others it also

Has great appeal.

 

So now I will show

With my paint brush in tow

My painted homage

To the America I know.

 

From sea to shining sea

My artwork will be

In law offices and I hope

Someday in galleries.

Meredith


Living in a Moment…

Title shamelessly stolen from a song…

 

(January 15-16, 2007)

 

Ali looked up from her paperwork briefly.  Noting the time, she sighed and went back to the job at hand.  There wasn’t a chance in hell she’d get it all done in time. 

 

“I guess I’d better call,” she muttered unhappily to the empty room.  Picking up her cell phone, she punched in his number and waited.  The strains of her favorite song met her ear as she waited for him to answer.

 

“Hey babe, I was just thinkin’ about you.”

 

“Aw, how sweet,” she purred.  “But seriously, I’m going to be late.”

 

“How late?” he asked, cautiously. 

 

“Um, like maybe tomorrow?”

 

“Aw, Ali! You promised!”

 

“I know, Cowboy, but I can’t get out of this.”

 

“You promised to make me two New Year’s Resolutions this year.  Remember?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And do you remember what they were?”

 

“Of course.  I promised to not work so much…” she started.

 

“Exactly!”

 

“…when I could help it,” she finished.

 

“And you can help it, this time.”  He growled back.  “It’s only paperwork.  Finish it tomorrow.”

 

“They want it today.”

 

“Tell ‘em to finish it themselves.”  He shook his head silently, wanting desperately to yell at her, but knowing that’d only get his butt kicked later on.  “And do you remember what your other promise was for the New Year?”

 

“Just not to work so much.”

 

“Nope.  You’re forgetting one.”

 

“And that one was?”  She lifted her mug of cocoa to her lips, waiting for his answer.

 

“To be sluttier,” he reminded her proudly.

 

Ali choked on the hot liquid.  “Ex-squeeze me?”

 

“You promised to be sluttier.”

 

“Um, okay then.  Bring a friend.”

 

“Ali!  That’s not what I meant!” he bellowed in mock outrage.

 

“Well, then clarify next time.”  She grinned.  She remembered her other promise now.  To make a point to spend more time with him.  NOT necessarily to be sluttier.  Although, when they were together those kinds of things tended to happen on their own.

 

It’d been hard on their relationship these last few months, always being apart.  He being on the road constantly, attempting to have a career as a musician.  She was constantly going here and there and back again for her job.  It hadn’t been easy, but they’d make it work.  And now that he’d gotten some time off – several weeks, in fact – he expected her to stick to her promises.

 

“If only I could, Cowboy,” she whispered.

 

“Huh?”

 

Damn!  She’d forgotten she was on the phone.  “Nothin’ babe.  Please let me get this finished.  I’ll call you when I’m done.”

 

“You’ve got until 7:30, like we discussed.  If you’re not here by then, I’m calling Scarlett and taking her out tonight instead.”

 

Ali wanted to be angry.  Really.  But, of all the friends to choose to tease her with, he picked the one who had a boyfriend almost as hot as hers.  Laughing, she teased back, “Sure, go ahead.  I’m sure she’d be thrilled to get out right about now.”

“I’m serious, Cookie.  Either you’re here at 7:30 like you promised, or there’s going to be hell to pay.  I’ve only got a few weeks and I’m not going to waste them waiting on you.”  Blake took a deep breath and softened the threat a bit.  “I’d much rather waste my time with you.  Got it?”

 

“Yeah.  Got it.”

 

“Good.  See you in an hour.”

 

Ali sighed and closed her phone.  How was she going to get all this done in an hour?  The answer was, she wasn’t.  So, what was most important?

 

Blake. 

 

Hands down, that had to be her answer.  She had the distinct impression he was going to kick her to the curb if she didn’t shape up.  And soon.  When he was on the road, she could work herself into a coma.  When he was home?  He refused to give her the option.

 

So, what could wait? 

 

Really, none of it.  She’d been putting it off; doing only what was needed and hoping for a miracle to take care of the rest.  If only they hadn’t dumped so many extra responsibilities on her at the start of the year.

 

Prioritize. 

 

She shuffled through the pile in front of her.  This was done; she set it to the right.  So was this; it went with the other.  This was low-priority; it could wait.  She put it off to the left.  This was half-done; she really should finish it just because.  It went in the middle.  Two more that were low-priority went into the pile on the left.   One more that was done.  Another that was half-finished.

 

“I must’ve been more distracted than I thought,” she mumbled.

 

“What was that?” asked her friend and co-worker, Scarlett, as she sat down across from Ali.

 

“Huh?” she looked up, startled.  “Oh.  I have two reports here that I started and never finished.  Just wondering how distracted I really am.”

 

“Well, if I had a gorgeous man just sitting at home waiting on me, I think I’d be even more distracted than that.”  She laughed.  “Hell, I wouldn’t be distracted at all – I’d be HOME!”

 

Ali smiled at her friend.  She had a very valid point.

 

“Here,” Scarlett reached out for one of the half-done reports.  “Give me one and you do the other.  The rest can wait till tomorrow.”

 

“Thanks, Red.”

 

“No problem.”  She grinned evilly.  “Just remember this when I need you next weekend.”

 

Ali laughed a real, happy laugh this time.  “Sure thing!  Just remember – if it’s a girl, name it after me!”

 

Scarlett kicked her friend under the table and rolled her eyes.  “Ya think I’d name my kid after you?  And wait for her to turn out like you?  No way!”

 

~*~

 

Ali arrived on Blake’s doorstep at 7:37.  Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and raised her fist to knock, not knowing what to expect.  Her fist fell heavily into the center of Blake’s chest.  She opened her eyes, surprised.

 

“Um, ‘knock knock?’” she asked feebly.

 

“You’re late,” he grumbled sternly.  “But I guess ya can come in anyway.  Haven’t gotten around to calling in your replacement yet.”

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

Grinning, he kissed her quickly.  “Glad to see you made it, even if you are seven minutes late.”

 

“Yeah, but who’s counting?”

 

“Well, not me, that’s for certain.”

 

“Glad to hear it,” she laughed as she passed him. 

 

Blake shut the door behind her and followed his lover into the living room.  She settled into her favorite chair and bent over to take her shoes off.  He watched her untie her boots and methodically place them beside her chair.  Everything she did had that sort of preciseness about it.  Guiltily, she looked up to find him watching her.  She quickly shoved her boots to the side, knowing he was about to tease her over it.

 

“Well,” he began, “looks like you’ve managed to partially keep one of your resolutions.”

 

“Oh shut up!” she teased him.  “I never promised to become your personal entertainment system.  I only promised to spend more time with you.”

 

“More time in bed with me maybe?”

 

“Whatever, Cowboy.  I’ve got a feeling I won’t win this argument either way.”  She watched him lower his tall frame onto the floor in front of her. 

 

“Nope, you sure won’t because even if we fight, we’ve gotta make up, right?”  He leaned into her legs and gave her lower-half a one-armed hug. 

 

“Oh, I suppose.”

 

(January 16, 2007)

 

“So, how much did you leave undone?”

 

“Three.  Had three done and two half-done.  Scarlett took one of the half-completed reports and I did the other.  Happy?”

 

“Well, it’s a start,” he teased, kissing her kneecaps.

 

Growling, she swatted at his ever-present cowboy hat, flipping it off his head and onto the floor behind him. 

 

“Now,” he said as seriously as he could manage, “you do realize you’re gonna have to pay for that?”

 

“Is that a threat?”

 

“Uh, yeah.”

 

“Well then, make me pay, Cowboy.  I dare ya!”

 

Blake just shook his head and wondered, “Why me?”

Amy


 

~ What Resolution? ~
 
I have no resolution
for I cannot seem to keep
The promises I make myself
I never sow to reap.
 
They sneak up every Christmas
and leave me New Years' Eve
And I never even have the chance
to decide what they will be!
 
But New Years' resolutions
are really quite absurd
For they're the things we have all year
to keep true to our word.
 
Yet we never seem to notice
until the end of year
Just how much we've let it all slip by
life, dreams, goodwill and cheer.
 
So if I had a resolution
I wonder what it'd be,
A thousand ways to improve myself
or a holiday or three.
 
There are no resolutions
you are what you choose to be,
For life's too short for promises
we don't intend to keep!
 
© Christina
15th January, 2007

A quick note about feedback, and this prompt... I opted to do this particular challenge because it happens to fit my real-life at the moment.  This is a work of non-fiction.  All that I ask is that if you want to give feedback, please keep in mind that the characters here are real - myself included!
 
You're probably going to think I'm crazy; most do when they hear what I'm about to tell you.
 
Nearly three years ago I met an amazing man.  Smart, funny, kind... All the things that I told myself as a little girl I wanted to find in a partner "when I grew up."   I met him in an online "world" known as Second Life.  I suppose I should give you a bit more credit, and not assume that you will think I'm crazy for that factor alone.  After all, we live in a time where match.com, eharmony and yahoo personals are shoved in our faces daily, do we not? Still, it seems "you're crazy" or some variant thereof is what I get when I tell my story.  That's ok, I can live with that.
 
Klaas - the man in question; did I forget to give you his name? - fast became the reason that I logged on to Second Life.   I knew from the start that his hours were vastly different from mine.  The reason for that became abundantly clear when I got around to asking him where he was from.  The Netherlands.  Wow.  Can we get much farther from Nebraska?!  I told myself that really didn't matter, though, as he was just someone that I liked to hang out with when I could.  I tried to tell myself that, at least.  After all, I had a boyfriend.  A boyfriend who would show himself to be a psychopath of the highest caliber, but a boyfriend nonetheless.
 
It wasn't long at all, though, before I came to the conclusion that I had absolutely fallen head over heels for Klaas.  To an extent, I think that online relationships are prone to a breakneck pace.  You can't get physical, obviously, so what do you do? You compensate by sharing more emotionally in a shorter period of time than "normal." I confessed what I felt to Klaas, and the most amazing part of all was, he felt the same.
 
I broke things off with my boyfriend, Nick.  It was messy.  Oh, dear God was it messy.  I thought, foolishly, that once it was done, that was it.  How wrong I was! Nick began "stalking" Klaas and I in Second Life.  In a game world!  I sold the land that I owned, removed Nick's ability to find me in-game, and Klaas and I bought a new piece of land. Nick spent hours and hours of his time tracking me down, until he found me again.  I tried ignoring him.  He would hang out just at the edge of the property lines, watching, listening. He called my house at all hours. Nick reduced me to tears every five minutes, it seemed.  I confess I had no clue, whatsoever, how to deal with the situation.  Always, though, always Klaas was right there to soothe me.  To tell me it would be ok.  To try and fend off Nick's hateful comments.  There was only so much he could do, though, and we both knew that.  There came a point, after months of this, that I sincerely felt that I was more trouble than I could possibly be worth to Klaas.
 
They say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.  I can assure you that it's true. Not knowing what else to do, I called Klaas on the phone one day, and with my heart beating against the walls of my chest and tears flowing unchecked down my face, I told him that it was over.  I gave him a list of reasons why, none of them the truth.  I thought my heart was literally going to break.  I said goodbye, we hung up, and ... Nothing.
 
It would be almost two years before I saw or heard from Klaas again.  One day, out of the clear blue sky, though, he tracked me down - in Second Life.  He hovered outside the place I was at, and waited.  Waited until I saw him.  Waited until curiosity got the better of me and I sent a message.
 
I asked him if he needed something.  He told me that he just wanted to talk to me, even if it was only from time to time.  So, talk we did.  Lots and lots of talking.  I knew in my heart, the first time I saw him again, that I still loved him.  I knew that I always had, and I always would.  I also knew that blurting that out from the word go was a bad idea. I did my best to keep it plainly and simply friendly.  I didn't necessarily succeed.   Eventually everything I tried to choke back came bubbling out.  His words, when it finally happened were... "I still love you.  Those feelings are still there because they were never gone."
 
Klaas is still The One.  The One who has my heart.  The One who I would give anything for.  The One I want for always.  The only question that now remains is, "How soon can I come up with plane tickets?"
Lilla Bit

Live Each Day
 
 
Live each day to the max....
Don't hold back,
Don't run too fast.
Before we know it time has flown
And we're left saying
"I wish I'd known!"
 
So live each day like it's your last.
Have no regrets,
Don't cling to the past.
Our destiny lies in the here - today!
Have no regrets; take time to play.
Say the things you need to say.
Do the things you need to do.
 
Our tomorrows are not yet here
Not guaranteed that we'll be there.
So embrace each heartbeat,
every breath. Every moment...
Have no regrets.
 
© Kimberly C. Beach
March 31st, 2006

Freewrtie, Seer of Souls chapter one.

In this chapter information on the village is given, I also changed
tenses, past tense is easier to write. Expect further chapters to be
written in past tense

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The hot midday sun beat down on Salla's head as she yanked purple
tursces roots from the hard soil of the fields. It had been a month
since the destruction of her village, she and the survivors were doing
their best to repair the damage even as they mourned lost loved ones.
Only forty-six survivors from a village that had numbered close to
three hundred. Not really a village, Salla remembered sadly, more of a
small town. So many dead, so many familiar faces missing. Those that
had been to young to help with the attempts to rebuild had been left
with the village elder and his sister. Everyone else was either
gathering what food stock they could or trying to salvage something
from the burned village.

They were still living in the caves, those who were able bodied enough
to work on a house were few. The village of seers it had been called,
over have of the people having the ability to see and hear the spirits
of the dead. The village was a haven for the sighted, unlike the
stories from outside, of those with the sight being persecuted, driven
off or even killed. Now only Salla and the Elder had active gifts. The
gift only becomes active after puberty, those few who were born active
were severely weaker than those whose gift comes later. Many of the
surviving children would have active gifts, those that do not have
active gifts would most likely have children with active gifts.

Salla had heard tales of different types of gifts, but she had never
known any gift but her own.

A trickle of sweat fell into her eyes, the salty water stinging
briefly before being blinked away. Salla stood slowly and gazed around
her, there was so much work to be done still, yet winter approached
fast as the cold nights told tale of despite the heat of day. Soon the
first frost would be on them, killing many of the crops that were
still within the earth. There were not enough hands to pick them all.
Salla sighed, picking up the half full basket she made her way to the
next row of tursces, there was still thirty rows to be picked,
something that had to be done before sunset.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tanait wiped her sweaty brow, she stood among tall rows of Caldre, the
sweet yellow vegetable with a hard skin, she had gotten a great many
of them picked, but knew there were so many more to be taken from the
stalks. It was getting late though, the sun already descending so it
could sleep until the next day, its light would waken the moons, the
gentle gold and silver light from the twin moons would bathe the land
soon, hopefully inspiring more silver faley fruit to ripen on the
golden leaved fenton trees.

Tanait looked over, toward the end of this row of stalk stood a young
boy, barely nine as he stood on his toes to reach a high Caldre. He
was so young, she thought, we are all so young. Tanait shook her head,
sending red hair flying about her face. "Damon, come on, its time to
return." She called, her voice gentle. Damon looked over at her, his
green eyes serious as he slowly nodded and started to carry his basket
back to the caves. Tanait knew he would accept no aid from her, even
though she had offered before. He did not want to be a burden on
anyone, he wanted to make his mother proud from where she watched over
him in the soul mists.

The setting sun cast odd shadows as Tanait and Damon walked back to
the caves, the shadows creating illusions of movement between the
trees to the side of them. It was unsettling, no matter how many times
they made this walk it was still difficult not to jump and scream at
the shadows. They joined others coming from the fields, they huddled
together as they made their way back to their shelter, their eyes
darting about, watching for any dangers.

They breathed a sigh of relief when they arrived at the caves,
relaxing slightly they entered, making their way to the last cave in
the five cavern chain, they set their baskets with the many others
there. It was coldest in this cave, having been used for storing food
for as long as the village had known of them. Tanait made her way to
the central cavern where the elder sat watching the infants and
toddlers. "Has Salla returned yet, grandfather?" she asked him. He
looked at her, his eyes full of sadness at the familiar term, all the
villagers had called him grandfather.

"Not yet, child, not yet."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Salla stood in front of the fenton tree that grew beside her house,
its fruit had all been picked, its bark blackened by the fire and
smoke. She placed her work worn hand on the trees trunk, it had always
stood there, for as long as she could remember she could climb the
limbs during play, eat the fruit when hungry. As she gazed at the tree
a feeling stirred within her heart, sadness and hate, grief and anger,
"Why!?" she cried to to the heavens as she sank to her knees, her
clenched hands beating the dirt at the trees base she sobbed, for what
seemed the thousands time.

A fire lit Salla's eyes, her eyes clearing of its tears. Her gaze
firmed as the first inklings of what would be a monumentous decision
formed in her mind. It was small at the moment, but it would grow.

Salla stood and strode to the caves, her face calm as the tear tracks
dried. There was still much to do before the spring came, so much to
do.

Chapter 2
More info, next chapter I hope to have a bit of action though I can't
promise it, action is hard to write.

Thank you everyone who has read this story so far.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The months passed, the cave steadily filled with fruit and vegetables
that they picked, with the slabs of meat that had been dried and
salted for the long winter. The house was finally finished as the
first snows of winter came, the people rushing to move what little
they had salvaged into it before they froze. There were no beds, bales
of straw had been layered on the floors of the one room house, one
wall was filled with a brick fire place that they had all worked to
build, taking the bricks from the burnt houses to do so.

Tanait had her hands full, teaching the children the basics that they
would need to control their gift, even though Tantait had no gift of
her own she was adept at teaching others about it, as the elder had
trained her to. Tanait was filled with worry for her friend, Salla
spent most of the time practicing with a wooden sword, performing the
basic exercises that each village child was taught. Everyone had found
something to take their minds of their loss, though Salla seemed to be
preparing for something. Tanait had the feeling that what she was
preparing for would take her far away.

Winter moved slowly for all, but like all things it came to an end.
Spring thaw descended, the snow clearing away.

Salla had came forward on the first day of snow, she had something
important to tell them.

"Grandfather, I want to take a journey." Salla said, her voice firm,
her eyes hard. She sat in the center of the house, her hands clenched
on her knees.

"A journey? A journey to where?" The elder said, he showed no
surprise, he had been expecting this for some time.

"Anywhere, everywhere." Salla said.

"Why? Why do you want to leave?" The elder replied in turn.

"To find out why the solders came, who sent them." Salla said, her
voice quivering with emotion.

"Hmmmm," the elder said, he looked Salla over, seeing the resolve in
the set of her mouth and eyes, the determination in her to find the
answers to her questions,"very well, very well my dear. I have two
things for you before you leave and some small wisdom from when I
traveled myself. In the corner by the fire place is a cloth wrapped
bundle and a metal box, bring them here."

Salla stood and went to the corner, the cloth had many burn spots and
was a gray color, it was the size of her arm and heavy when she picked
it up. The box was heat warped and blackened, small and light. She
carried them over to the elder who took them into his arms. He held
them briefly before slowly unwrapping the bundle,"This belonged to my
son, he left it with me when he passed away, as he had no children of
his own." he said, his eyes hazy with tears as he recalled old
memories. The cloth fell away to reveal a battered scabbard holding a
short sword.

He carefully held the sword out, inviting Salla to take it. Salla
gently lifted the sword into her arms. The elder pulled out a key
which had a leather thong laced through it so that it could hang from
his neck, he fit the key in the box, opening it with a creak from the
hinges, inside were several pieces of yellow paper and a cracked
leather pouch, he withdrew the pouch and set the box aside. The elder
gestured for Salla to hold out her hand, which he took in his old and
withered one and dumped the contents of the pouch into her hand, it
contained many metal coins, gold and silver and bronze and steal,
Salla's breath caught, she had never seen so much money before.

"You can use these, haven't got any use for them anymore." The elder
told her, his faded blue eyes sad.

Salla looked up at him, startled,"I can? All this for me?"

"Yes, my dear, for you." the elder replied,"I have little information
on the outside, but what I do know is this; There are many gifted in
this world, as such there are also many magic users as well. The gifts
and magic go to anyone, so there are bad and good people like us out
there. Magic users are gifted as well, but only in small amounts. Be
careful, not everyone will accept you, not all gifted will want you
near."

"Alright, grandfather, but, how can I tell who is magic?" Salla asked,
her forehead wrinkled in puzzlement as the hand containing the money
fell to her lap.

"I can't answer that, child, as I don't know."

Salla was silent at this, her mind whirled at the idea that other
gifted might not like her, she had always thought that other gifted
liked having those like them near.

"Come, let us sleep now, you must get up with the sun to begin your
journey." the elder said, his voice firm.

Salla nodded slowly and made her way to her blanket that lay on the
hay, she set the sword beside her with the pouch and laid down. As
soon as her head hit the hay she fell asleep. Her dreams were chaotic
and confused, full of fiery and bloody images.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tanait stared at the cross beams of the ceiling, her thoughts dwelling
on the changes of the day, Salla was leaving, Salla who was her best
friend sense they were toddlers, was leaving the village. For the
first time in her life she would be without her best friend to talk
to, her best friend to help her. It was unnerving. Such a new and
disturbing idea, Tanait worried. Would she be able to do it? To stand
on her own? Would she be strong enough without Salla? Tanait didn't
know if she could do it, but she knew she had to try.

Tanait swore to herself she would be strong, so that when Salla
returned she would be proud of her. Salla was only leaving physically
after all, some part of Salla would always remain in the village.

Tanait closed her eyes and fell asleep, her dreams many and varied.
She saw her friend die, saw her return in a billowing gown and jewels
in a gold embossed carriage. She saw memories of the past and
illusions of the future. She saw herself falling.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Morning came too soon for all. Today was the day one of them would be
leaving, perhaps never to return. The villagers had put together a
sack full of what supplies they could spare. Food and water, a knife,
plate and cup, an old battered pan. Salla stood in her breeches and
tunic, her thread bare cloak drawn tight across her shoulders. She
felt fear, she was entering a whole new world; full of unknown dangers
and many mysteries. She felt though that this was right. Something
that she needed to do.

Salla hugged everyone, promising to send spirit messages often,
promising to tread carefully. She said farewell to them, her eyes
misted with tears as she listened to well wishes and pleas that if it
became to much out there for her to return home. Salla slowly walked
down the path that would lead out of the village, she fought the urge
to turn around, knowing that if she did she would run right back.

Her journey begun, she felt scared and alone, though she still felt
deep within that she must continue on.

Jessa


Write about the top ten things you want to achieve in 2007
 
  1. Loose 50 lbs at least
  2. Find a good job that i like
  3. get better organized
  4. spend more time with the kids
  5. stay on an exercise program
  6. find a beautician that can cut hair
  7. buy a car without rust
  8. keep the house clean for more than a day
  9. have more faith in myself
  10. write more

Anissa


Resolutions for the New Year

 

Did I make a resolution on

This auspicious New Year’s Day?

Did I promise once again to lose

The weight that’s in my way?

Did I promise once more to exercise

To work-out, walk and run?

Did I say that I would clean my house

And keep working till it’s done?

Did I promise I would be more kind,

More loving, more sincere?

Did I say I’d update my resume

Maybe start a new career?

No, I made no promises this year

No resolves for me to break

I thought it best to leave it be

The high road I would take

This year I’ll live each shining day

Just as it comes to me

And fill each page with hope and joy

Alive and hopeful – free!

 Maiden Fair


Unspoken
 
Sometimes I sit and think of you
Thinking what could have been
Why was I naïve and I so blind?
Amazed by the wrong things
Ignoring the obvious
Ignoring the things that were truly special
 
I miss the times with you
I rarely think of him
He is nothing but a flutter
You’re so a catalyst for me
Just the mention of your name
It sends me sailing
 
Again I am left thinking of you
Your smile… your laugh…
The quietness that was in your eyes
I miss the simple touches
The stolen glances
I miss you!
 
I wonder how different our life would be
If I had went with my heart
Instead of being the good friend following my head
Could we have made it?
Could we have had all that we wanted?
Would we have aspired and met all our dreams?
 
I will never know if you felt the same
That question is now inapplicable
A solid relationship involuntarily diverted
The exchange of I love you will never happen for you and I
Presently I will surrender to this friendship
Knowing secretly, I want to surrender to so much more
For now all this is left unspoken
 
For someone I never noticed until now!
 Genta


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