June Member Submissions
I'm
sitting at work one day, when my mind suddenly wanders.
You've
been gone so long already, 7 months to be exact.
I've begun
to count down the days from now until October,
when I'll be able to hold you
in my arms again.
Just as
the daydream gets good, there is a knock at the door,
irritated, I get up to answer
it, I'm stunned as I look into the sexy brown eyes
that haunt me each night.
As I try
to speak to you, my tongue gets all tongue tied. Pulling me into your
arms,
to silence my babbling, you lean down
to kiss me. I lean into your kiss, thinking
that finally, my soldier
has returned home to me if only for a little while.
Sheena
A
Kiss is but the autograph of Love
Genta
Hughes
Kayla sat and contemplated her next move. She was the girl would always weighed
her rewards versus her consequences. She was the girl who had fine lines drawn concerning
many things, one of those being dating a co-worker. She was quick to place that
rule out but she had hesitated. Kayla was never seriously interested in a
guy of her own race because they rarely wanted anything more than sex. Not to
forget they never aroused her mentally or emotionally.
Kayla laughed at herself. She was completely out of her league. This guy was
younger than her. She was three years his senior. To Kayla, three years was
more than 36 months. They had different life experiences and references. His
aspirations made her want to re-examine hers. She began to look forward to
seeing his bright eyes and smile. Could this have been the man she had dreamed
of? But he never made her think anymore than she did. He acted very professional.
Apparently, Steven had fine lines as well.
Kayla not sat in a booth watching him glance over a menu. It was just a
friendly after work things. She became suspicious when her other co-worker
backed out. Megan stated she did not have a baby sitter. She smiled at the
thought he was a true gentleman. He was apparently raised to understand the
value of a woman and how to treat one. She almost backed out as well when she
checked her wallet. He assured her that she was covered and that she would have
to pick up the check next time. He opened doors and pulled out chairs. He was
open to new ideas. He could articulate a conversation on anything. She bit her
lip and thought about Tatum. He wasn’t the great guy. She admitted on several
occasions that she settled. He did what he was apparently raised to think the
best way was to treat a female.
Kayla was lost in thought that she did not notice the waitress walk up. She
felt the electricity when he touched her hand to bring her back to her reality.
She smiled as she quickly answered sweet iced tea. She resumed looking at the
menu hoping that something would jump out at her.
I take it that you have never ate Jamaican before? Steven questioned
She smiled as she brushed the stray
hairs back. Nope but I am always opened to trying new things!
Really? ‘Cause I was wondering about why you only date white guys?”
“Umm, black guys were never really
interested in relationships. I mean I was always great friend with them.
She answered as she continued to look over the menu. I was not simple minded
enough for most of the ones I grew up with in high school and some of college.
Maybe I need to let you hang out with
some guys who would love a break from simple-minded females. Steven
stated as he noticed Kayla blush.
I am not interested in thugs wanting
a cover girl. Kayla joked as Steven looked at her.
I was wondering if you would… nah,
never mind.
Kayla directed her eyes upward. No,
what were you going to ask?
Nah, it’s not an appropriate question.
Now, you really have my attention.
Kayla, I am not ready to proposition
it to you yet. With that Steven excused himself to the bathroom.
Kayla
diverted her attention to his eyes before he left. His usual soft eyes gave
away the emotion that was welling inside. Kayla simply stared as he left the
table. She continued to search over the menu. She settled on the curry chicken.
She felt her phone vibrate and reached for it. She knew it was Tatum. He was
brief. He reminded her to behave and remember that he was going to stay with
his friend, Toby. Kayla nodded and agreed. She closed the phone and took a deep
breath. His tone is what nerved her. She never thought about cheating. She was
very faithful. She glanced up and noticed Steven coming back over and realized
this would be a very tempting situation.
Kayla looked down into her purse not realizing that Steven was setting next to
her.
You looked like you needed a gentle
touch. He whispered as she felt a chill go through her body.
I am just not having the best of days. Work was
trying…
Your boyfriend has trust issues with
you. I mean not that I blame him. You are the woman that most men would fight
to the death over. Steven stated as he moved closer to
her. Before you disagree, dismiss all the negative talk that you have been
fed. He placed his arm around her waist and then caressed her face. He
gently leaned in and she melted as his lips touched hers. Kayla was about to
say something he pulled away. But she heard an out of place song. She began to
look around and noticed that she was not at the restaurant but she was in her
office. Her cell phone was lighting up and vibrating. She placed her hands to
her lips and smiled. It was just a daydream but it was a true refresher.
Rita and Ryan©
Rita and Ryan
O'Connell are brother and sister; they are also twins. Inseparable in the womb
of their mother, they remained inseparable throughout their childhood and teen
years, sharing secrets, supporting each other in difficult times. It was when
Rita and Ryan were ready for college that they went their separate
ways, for each took on different professions. Rita went on to law school,
where she studied sociology, psychology and social law, deciding to take on such
social problems as domestic violence, incest and the like. Ryan, on the other
hand, went on to medical school, specializing in pathological diseases and drug
problems. The only time they saw each other was during the summer months, and
then again they devoted most of their free time working in their particular
fields, preferring to take the time for a few phone calls in between jobs.
Neither, because of professional commitments, took the time to deepen their
personal relationships, which remained more on the surface and suffered from
romanticism more than anything else. As their work became complex and
involving, they began to lose touch. Contact between them became distanced and
far in between. Several years passed, and with them forgotten calls and contacts.
They passed their 32 nd birthday married
to their specialities. In Rita's case, she was very happy with her job , but felt it was indeed a really loney
one.
One late September
afternoon as Rita was standing in the crowded line at a posh
The head waiter asked
if she had a reservation.
"No, I was invited
to Mrs. Valiant's table, but I'm afraid I'm a bit
late," Rita replied.
Turning to his
appointment book, he nodded and told Rita to follow him. They weeded in between
tables and arrived at a corner table where she stopped, shocked.
"Ryan, long time no see! What on earth are you doing here?" Rita
asked, surprised.
"Rita! Are you
the candidate Mrs. Valiant is supposed to talk with? When did you get here in
D.C.?" Ryan asked, very surprised.
""I received
a note from Mrs. Valiant's office yesterday inviting
me to lunch in this very fancy restaurant. I didn't know if anyone else was
also invited. I got here two days ago, arriving from
"I've been to
"Yes, I use only
my cell. I had to change my cell number so my ex wouldn't find me. It was a
very bad, I should say violent, relationship," she explained. "To get
out of
"Rita, you've no
idea how glad I am to see you after all these years. Here, let me introduce you
to my colleagues: This is Billy James, here is Jane Williams and last we have
Bruce Hammond." My friends, let me introduce you
to my twin sister, Rita O'Connell. You haven't change you name, Rita?"
"No, I'm still
O'Connell," Rita answered.
"Rita is your
twin sister?" said a surprised Billy. "Ry,
you never told us you had a twin, just a sister…"
"Rita and I are
fraternal twins, more like brother and sister, Ryan explained. Only those of
the same sex are real twins. Although Rita and I have the same birthday, (I'm
six minutes younger than she is), and although we were practically glued to
each other when we were kids, much like real twins, we realized that we are
different in nature and personality. Rita is a bit of an extrovert, very active
and still single all this time, while I'm a bit of an introvert and on a
long-time relationship with Alexia."
"You have a fiancée, Ryan? That's wonderful…as for me, I think men are
afraid of me; I just move a little too fast for them, I guess. Why are you
here, Ryan; you're a doctor and were never politically inclined."
"When I met
Alexia, I ended up meeting her mother, Congresswoman Valiant" Ryan
replied.
That remark made
everyone smile.
While Rita, Ryan and
friends were deep in discussion at their table, a bustle was heard in the
background and suddenly Mrs. Valiant appeared.
"I see you've
gotten introduced, my friends," she said cheerfully. "What do you all
think of Ms. O'Connell?"
"We'll take
her!" answered the group, smiling at Rita.
"I thought
so," continued the congresswoman, "Ryan, you never told us you had a
twin; I just found out a short while ago from my secretary." Looking at
Rita, she smiled, "I had asked her to get me as much information about you
as she could, "so I would know something about you before this luncheon.
That's partly why I'm very late. Now that everyone is agreed about Rita being
part of the team, let's order. Afterwards we'll discuss roles and
responsibilities. I think we'll all get along quite nicely, especially as Rita
has a speciality that we all could learn more about and that will enhance my
social program with facts and figures. Waiter, please!"
After
they offered their meals, Rita was asked questions about her background and
previous social cases. While the discussion went on, Rita and Ryan smiled at
each other. Rita was going to have the time of her life working with this
particular team. It wasn't going to be easy, but with such team members as
these, everyone would have something to offer and thus contribute to Mrs. Valiant's program in Congress. Occasionally she would be
approached by Billy, whose experience in criminality deeply impressed Rita,
concerning her experiences with the persons involved in her domestic violence
cases. He was genuinely affected by her sincerity and serious approach. He felt
that this was going to be the beginning of something good, something wonderful.
He felt Rita's eyes on him. Smiling, he felt she thought the same way.
©Joanne
Pons, 30 June 2007
Ode to my father
Thomas
Boyd was his name
A
thin, red haired man
Crystal
blue eyes
Two
hands could drive
All
day and night if needed
As
long as you didn’t ask him to fix a thing
The
house would be ok
He
drank like a fish
We
were used to that
Didn’t
want to get him mad
But
sometimes
You
couldn’t help it
Just
by being a kid
Smoking,
oy vey
I
hate it still
Dad
never stopped
Until
it was too late
Dad,
I still remember
Hearing
your breathing
As
you stared into space
Your
heart racing
I
couldn’t stay
It
broke my heart
To
see you reduced
From
the strong man
I
knew was a child
To a
weak man
Killed
by the cigs
Marie
Kathryn Casalaspro
June
28, 2007
Passed your old stop
Memories of us flooded my mind
They still had a hold of me
After all this time
I remember well the spark of your
lips against mine
Cheeks flush, senses raced
Love or just
a mistake?
Do you know what your voice does to me
Even after all this time
I almost whispered I love you
Instead of admitting that I miss you
Do you have the least idea
What talking to you did to me
It’s been years since we first kissed
And yet……..
To see your face again
And try so hard to keep control
I haven’t held you in so long
Your lips demanding and very tender
Try hard to push the feelings away
I miss you could have been traded for
I love you in that same heart beat
Yes I miss you,
that I’ll admit
And the feelings I had for you are
All coming back
What you did to you quickly returns
I pray it doesn’t end in pain again.
Marie Kathryn Casalaspro
June 23,
2007
This is something that
happened to me when I was working in the City with my first real job I'd had.
I'd been there about 10 months when this occurred, and though in part it did
happen, I have taken poetic licence and created a
kind of fantasy out of it also. But all the major scenarios really did
happen. It turned out to be more of a monologue (of my thoughts)
with no conversation whatsoever. I hope you enjoy it.
~ Just a Fantasy ~
I stood in front of the mirror in the ladies’
room and contemplated what I was about to do, and the consequences I was sure
were bound to follow. The water from the tap had long since run cold as I
continued to gaze at my reflection, trying to grasp some kind of understanding
from within the eyes that stared back at me. But nothing prevailed.
Just the innate sense deep down what I was doing was wrong. I could
hear a voice in my head scream “what the hell are you doing?” This is not
me – this is not how I was brought up! So what in blue blazes was I
thinking of?
Suddenly I felt unable to look at myself and I
closed my eyes to shut out the warnings my reflection appeared to relay.
I couldn’t face it; I didn’t want to know. Not now, not yet…not
ever? No – I will think about the ramifications later, but not
now. Now I just wanted to have some fun, let my hair down and be a little
carefree. I wasn’t hurting anyone – WE weren’t hurting anyone. No
one knew. And it’s not like we were even doing anything that would hurt
anyone anyway! We were just friends, companions…I’m not sure what we
were, but I know it felt good. My boyfriend Eric was being a little too
serious at the moment, plus he was on leave, and I wasn’t really doing anything
untoward, was I? Nick and I just enjoyed one another’s company. He
made me laugh and with the way Eric had been lately, I felt in need of plenty
of smiles. And Nick, with his perceptive sense of understanding, always
managed to deliver a bouquet of them every lunch hour.
I felt a hint of a smile begin to form as I
opened my eyes again and found myself looking at a much calmer reflection than
when I had first entered. Yes, this was just a bit of fun, and no, we
were doing nothing wrong. After all, I was merely tasting
a fantasy not devouring it. Besides, I just needed to enjoy the moment.
Hearing the door creak open as someone entered
the bathroom I snapped out of my reverie, splashing my face with water. A
quick glance at my watch told me Nick would be waiting in the lift lobby
downstairs for our midday rendezvous. An advantage with working in the
Public Service was flexi-time. We could take two and a half hour lunches
if we chose, just as long as we made up the hours during the rest of the
week. This often meant coming in and starting at 7.30am, the earliest
possible time, or working back till 6pm which was the latest. I guess it
made those early starts worth it, although I dreaded travelling
the two hour journey home in the dark when I finished at 6pm. Still, two
and a half hours for lunch in the Botanic Gardens was a delightful treat – one
I was looking forward to.
Nick and I met by chance in the cafeteria one
morning at morning tea. I’d seen him around on the floors – he was Eric’s
direct supervisor in his department and he would often pop up to Records where
I worked, always offering a smile, so I knew him by sight. When he saw me
sitting alone in one of the booths that morning, he came up and introduced
himself then asked if I would mind him joining me. I indicated that I
didn’t with a shy smile, and he seated himself opposite me. Our
conversation had been a little one-way at first as I am really quite shy by
nature, and it’s not until I am comfortable with that person or people that I
begin to let my hair down. So that first morning Nick did most of the
talking, but I didn’t mind. It gave the opportunity to learn a little more
about him before I was comfortable with my feet in the water.
Nick had a way of making me feel at ease, and
it wasn’t long before I began to look forward to our morning teas in the caff. Soon we found that 15 minutes wasn’t nearly
enough time to enjoy each other’s company and those mornings morphed into lunch
hours, sometimes 1 hour…sometimes 2 hours. Besides at lunch we weren’t
confined to the building, and it was then we began venturing across to the
Botanic Gardens and enjoying an hour’s peace and solitude from the hustle and
bustle of the office. It was lovely.
Today, we were taking the maximum lunch break
of two and a half hours. It wasn’t normal practice to use that entire
block in one lunch, but it was permissible on occasion. And I was looking
forward to it. One final check in the mirror – hair in place, make-up
touched up, a dash of perfume to finish off and I was ready. Smiling absently
at the temp on my way out the ladies’ room I headed for the elevators.
I don’t know why I felt nervous and excited
all at the same time. Nick was just a friend, though I do admit to him
making me feel kind of special, but I guess that’s because he’s older.
I’m not sure why but I often feel more comfortable
with older guys – not in a sexual way or anything, but they don’t treat me like
a kid. Eric is a year older than me and sometimes I feel he has a lot
more growing up to do. He wants to be a barrister and is studying law
part time at Uni, but it seems he only goes to
lectures when the mood takes him. I mean we have fun together but it’s
different with Nick because…well, I don’t know, he’s more mature. He
knows what women want, what women like, how to treat a woman. Guys Eric’s
age are too busy still getting puberty and adolescence out of their systems to
notice what women want or need.
Stepping onto the elevator I began to wonder,
why am I so down on Eric all of a sudden? He’s not a bad guy, and he
treats me OK. I guess he’s my first real relationship – I’ve never been
successful on the dating circuit – and sometimes I think I feel it’s not all
that it’s cracked up to be. So what is it with Nick then? Does he
kindle a flame or evoke fireworks? I’m not sure, but he makes me feel
something I’ve never experienced before – I don’t know what it is but…yes, I am
attracted to him. Gosh, he’s got to be at least 40! But there’s
just something…I can’t quite put my finger on…he makes me feel – alive!
For a moment I feel a miniscule sliver of guilt, not only for feeling this way,
but also entertaining the notion and acting on it. This wasn’t me at
all. But right now, I didn’t care. I wanted to have fun.
As the elevator announced its arrival on the
ground floor I felt the familiar sensation of butterflies, only they were
somersaulting! I would say it was like being a teenager again but at 17,
I still am. I began to experience the hot flush of excitement mingled
with nervousness as I fought to keep my composure. Running through a
mental checklist before the doors opened I prepared myself for what was to come
– whatever that may be. Right now I didn’t care. Nick was standing on the
other side of these doors waiting for me, and suddenly each moment felt like an
eternity.
Just as a curtain parts on opening night, the
elevator doors slid open to reveal a handsome and smiling Nick standing in the
lobby. My heart leapt in nervous palpitation – or was it excitement? Anticipation? Quit thinking about it, I
chastised myself, you’re over analysing – just enjoy
the moment. So I smiled…and felt my face turn a bright red, as he held
out his arm for me, which I readily accepted, and together we strode out into
the brilliant sunshine chatting and laughing at the same time. I pushed
all doubts I’d been having just ten minutes before aside – I wanted to relish
this moment; I wanted to feel free.
Nick was whispering in my ear as we passed the
final wall from out building, and I caught a glimpse of something which made me
glance back momentarily. We didn’t stop but I saw the bewildered look of
disapproval on Eric’s face in the shadows as Nick and I continued up the street
to cross over into the Gardens. I felt a pang of remorse then because the
last thing I wanted to do was hurt Eric…but on Nick’s arm as we hurried across
the busy city street, I dismissed anything else that would keep me from
enjoying this moment. I would think about Eric later.
Such a glorious day to be in out in the sun as
Nick and I walked through the gardens and settled on a nice quiet and secluded
place in the shade. Neither of us wanted to be the subject of office
gossip, so we took precautions not to be seen in case someone from our building
also chose today to lunch here. Lying sprawled on the grass, we laughed
and talked about trivial things and yet I was beginning to feel more drawn to
this man. Although I had told myself we were just friends, and we were, I
was deeply attracted to him and I could sense that he felt the same – I could
see it in his eyes. They were a deep brown that penetrated my resolve and
engulfed me in an intensity that was beginning to simmer between us. I
wanted him to reach out and touch me, to take me in his arms, to kiss me.
A desire flickered deep within me I had never before experienced and I yearned
for him to initiate the first move.
Then time seemed to stand still.
Suspended in a moment of silence we were both suddenly aware of the passion
emanating between us and while I wasn’t sure what to do with it, I silently
urged Nick to take charge and act on the emotions that overwhelmed us
now. I felt myself ache with wanting – his touch, his kiss – and hoped my
eyes conveyed to him what the rest of my body was feeling. Then as if
reading my silent thoughts, Nick took me in his arms and slowly brought his
lips to mine, easing me back onto the soft grass. His hands were kind and
gentle as he caressed my arms, neck and face. It was an incredibly
passionate moment and I knew immediately that I was lost, willing us both to
remain here. I wanted this to last forever.
Forever…that’s just what it felt like in his
arms. Maybe I’m just young and naïve but what I’m feeling right now is so
intensely powerful any common sense probably just flew out the proverbial
window…and I didn’t care. Maybe this was just a fantasy and I was
dreaming, but when I paused to open my eyes I saw Nick’s brown pools searching
my soul for signs of regret. There were none. And feeling bold this time
I drew myself up to him allowing myself to sink into the shelter of his warm
embrace as he softly devoured me in a flurry of deep and sensual kisses.
Lifting me in strong arms he placed me on his lap without once breaking the
momentum as my hands began searching beneath the confines of his shirt, and his
found the buttons of my blouse. There was an urgency
between us I wasn’t quite sure how to deal with yet so I continued to just lose
myself and surrender to the moment, despite my mind silently running ahead of
me already planning where we would both take it from here…and the time and
place. I knew at that moment I wanted Nick more than I had wanted anyone
before – including the priceless gift of virtue I was keeping for my wedding
night. Was it real or was it the passion talking? I have no idea but I
didn’t care - because right then, right now, I wanted him.
By 2.15pm it took us all our willpower to
return to earth from our passionate journey within the secluded corner of the
garden. Smiling shyly I buttoned my blouse and tried my best not to look dishevelled though I knew it was futile. Nick
appeared just as ruffled as he straightened his own attire, and suddenly we
found ourselves giggling to ease any discomfort we felt, but we just
ended up in one another arms’ again. It was just after 2.30pm when we
both stumbled into our respective workplaces, each wearing an obvious silly
grin. No doubt Nick received countless ribbings from the boys
downstairs, while my supervisor and colleagues just smirked knowingly.
I didn’t see Eric upon our return. Maybe I had
just imagined him there out of some sort of subconscious guilt for what I was
doing, and about to do, with Nick. Maybe he just slipped away quietly,
saving his questions and berating for later. Maybe he was never there at
all. Today it didn’t matter because today I felt a part of me connected
to Nick in a way I had never been to anyone…and I knew the next step in our
clandestine liaison was inevitable. It was just the timing and
place. I still lived at home with my parents two hours from the city –
how would I explain NOT coming home one night? They would be worried
sick. For the rest of the day, and the coming weeks, it was these
thoughts that entertained me though I was unable to reach a solution and I only
hoped Nick had better luck.
But it seemed it wasn’t meant to be. For
weeks Nick and I pondered the predicament and how to get around it, by which
time I was beginning to get cold feet. Oh, our passionate encounter sure
was memorable but maybe that’s all it was meant to be. After all he was
twice my age, married and I had a boyfriend. Though none of that had
mattered in the heat of the moment of each encounter, it was indeed the reality
to which we both must face. It was beautiful and special while it had
lasted, but the priceless gift of virginity is not something to be given away
in the heat of a passionate moment. I had been taught better than
that. It was to be cherished, as was this moment but in a different
way. Some people are in our lives for but a moment, and maybe, just
maybe this was one of those moments. Why ruin the memory?
Slowly Nick and I parted ways and I returned
to my real life which I shared with Eric, however uneventful that may have been
in comparison to the fireworks we had shared together. Yes, it was good –
no, it was fantastic – while it lasted, but it wasn’t real. Eric and I were
real.
I realized then that Nick was in my life for
but a fleeting, if not passionate, moment – but that moment was not
reality. Whatever it was, however magical, was just a fantasy. And
fantasies never last…except in our memories.
© Christina aka Stina
13th June, 2007
Childhood is a time,
For adventures of the mind,
For secrets left untold,
For memories left unsold.
Winters are remembered... mild,
Summers that were wild,
Springtimes full of bloom,
Fall leaves came too soon.
Trips that memories make,
Blowing out candles... Birthday cakes,
Presents galore & parties asunder,
Hiding in the closet... Thunder.
Thinking 27 was old,
Dreams of the future left untold,
Want to be an astronaut or president?
With life, away these dreams went.
Cookies burnt, we didn't care,
Loved to watch Sonny & Cher,
Sesame Street was the bomb,
Watching Fraggle
Rock with Mom.
Dad stayed at work all day,
Sorry that he had no time for play,
A spanking was a threat,
That fairly often was met.
We learned to calculate odds
Based on out chances to dodge
Experiences that would grow
Into the "me" that i now know.
Robbie